Travel Adventures Of A Koala Farmer.

Many Moons have passed.

2011-03-19T00:45:00.004+10:00

Argh, thanks to facebook and friends stirring me at work I've come to post an update. So what did the koala farmer do after travelling for so many years.. it's been 5-6 years now since I've stopped the wander lust.

I've had the chance in my time to meet some really top class ladies and there are times I wish I could have paused in time but none have come close to Joanne. Yeah thats her to the left. this one has done her best to tame me.

Work wise I entered sales in 2005 did pretty well for myself. Went a differnt path into account management, though I am a salesmen at heart, gift of the gab is strong with this one. its Now 2011 and wow father time is catching up with us all. Still no aliens. :)

Never went back to the mines. How could I after seeing all so much. I never believed experiences could affect or change you. I always felt you are who you are and life unfolds before you and you get to make some choices. Parts of that last sentence is correct. But experience. wether its people, places or adventures these add to your own story. There is so much I've gained from meeting the hundreds of people overseas and around australia on that 5 year journey. Travel taught me alot about myself. I could never thank everyone or imagine what they shared with me on that grand adventure. I did alot. I live like a rock star. I got to see the world. I fell in love and out of it. I Drank way to much and spent to much.. but fuck me.. I WOULD DO IT ALL AGAIN!

Life is but a journey, make sure to live yours.

All best from Dino and Joanne.

Last of da koala farmers :P haha.

White chicks and Gang signs " the power of you tube"

2007-04-06T10:48:00.000+10:00

Since I've been working hard and all that for the past couple of years, I've heard more and more about you tube. What is it? Basicly, its a web site that just allows people to upload movies of them selves easy and share with the world. Some are good, some are not. I'll give you two examples and let you judge for yourself.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KKTDRqQtPO8 white chicks and gang signs.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vqXXOrGu1k lazy dork, creative, funny and well done!

and I had to add one more: http://www.youtube.com/profile_videos?user=ysabellabrave

this woman is kinda alot of things, but one thing for sure she is talented.

Easter 2007. Happy, Happy Sugar rush for most!

2007-04-06T09:44:00.000+10:00

Its a fine friday easter morning as I sit here in a local internet cafe and prepare to head out from brisbane to visit some of my close blood family west and north of this fine city. Its been some time since I had the "time" to update my old travel blog. Reason? Why, working a hell of a lot, drinking, carrying on and what not! Not much of an excuse, but none the less its whats been keeping me sane or is that insane?

Whats been keeping me busy? Well I've some how ended up working in sales. Maybe because I am a good talker, bull shit artist x 5 or I just have the ability to related complex information and pitch that well at people.

Short version is roughly 6 months ago I saw the chance to make some money while working for my current company. Durning a meeting with Senior Telstra productions sales manager, I pitched a deal to my direct boss above me, while everyone else was heavily distracted in trying to kiss "the big telstra execs bosses arse" I pitched to my direct boss who was sitting to the left of me, the benfits of hot live closes of active mobile leads produced, this was the chance to make alot of $$$. He bought the idea and off I went..

What has followed is me being number 1-2 nation wide in mobile sales for the past 4-5 months or more. A great increase in my income, which really is secondary to my life pursits. As travelling has taught me, I just need the basics in my life to have a good time. People, travel, laugh, adventure, a few good beers ok alot of beers and the affections of a good woman or two once in while. I need it to be special, what you think I'm so kind of love hoar? You have to wine and dine me, if you want my full attention. Hell, I am a leo after all and my sign is the sun, centre of all, energy, life.. blah blah! So, call me, call me now!!

And no matter how much money you have, you soon realize its far easier to spend it faster then you make it. The question for myself now is, do I settle now or travell for a couple more years? The next 6months I will sit back and prepare for that exact choice. I hope you have been entertained

Outside of that, have a good easter and remember If you need a mobile deal with telstra, you know who to blog, email or txt!!!

Merry Xmas 2005..

2005-12-26T16:04:00.000+10:00

My How a year just flies by.. All I can remember this time last year was being back in australia and going nuts and enjoying life.. 2005, has been a funny year for myself. It basicly a readjustment to returning to a normal working life and limit travel.. Even though I still did a little through the year..

Well, too all my travelling buds.. where ever you may be and whereever you may end up, Cheers from myself and I hope you build up for a smashing 2006..

All the best, From this wanderering Koala farmer..

Dean. 2005.

Caught up in arm robbery!!! Kid you not!

2005-09-25T14:53:00.000+10:00

Now, This isn't a travel story, but what actually happen last monday to me and a work mate on the way back to his place for a few beers. Simon my english work buddy and I were walking back through the valley mall roughly about 815pm on monday the 19th of sept. When in the middle of the valley mall, we heard the sounds of plates and chairs crashing and smashing. Both of us looked to our left and saw guy assaulting a cafe worker.

He'd had her by the throat and was pulling cash out of the till, while trying to run away with her screaming out "help me" "help!!!" while trying to stop the guy from running.. At first I thought the guy was refusing to pay for his meal and was doing a run.. Then it became clear it was much, much more..

He pushed off the woman and raced out the door towards ann's street towards a bar/club named belushi's, while the woman was screaming "someone help.. stop him." I turned to simon and said, come-on lets get him.. Now this was simons last night in brisbane and was flying to cairns, then asia, before heading home to the Uk.. both of us were heading back to his place to have a few beers with his girlfriend and see him off on his last night in brissie. (both of them are poms) when all this just unfolded right in front of us. Simon said, if we'd been 30seconds earlier or later we'd have missed it and thought nothing more of it. Anyway, back to the events. We gave chase for the guy and intersected him, with me shouting out in a classic line.. "Stop" natually, the guy didn't.. I told simon, to follow him while I headed back to the cafe too see w-t-f actually happen!!!

Went back to the cafe, woman told me the guy had just lepted over the counter grabbed her by the throat, stuck a pair of scissors to her neck and demanded she open the till or he would stab her.. naturally, she was shook up. So I raced off back to simon to find the crook had run down an alley behind the cafe.. So I again told simon, to just hold here, while I ran around to the front of the cafe and told them he was out the back, in the alley.. The chef hearing this grabbed the biggest thing he could and charged out the back. I then ran back around to simon, to find they had flushed the guy out and he'd ran down the street further away!

I told the chef and simon lets go and find him. So we marched off.. knowning he had turned down a 2nd dead end alley. We began searching the area, with me grabing doors to toilets and kicking them open, while quickly preparing myself for trouble! After about 10-15mins, simon said" he's most likely climbed one of the walls and got away". I said, I bet he's under one of these 4wd's cars. So I half hearted looked from the back end while the chef move to the front of the cars.. Suddenly, the chef yelled, the dirty dogs under this one and out he came.. right at me.. with ten dollar note in his hand.. I loooked at the money in his hand an laughed, mate you've got more then that. He dropped the 10 bucks and half swang at me.. I blocked his punch and then grabbed his arm... while he then tried to punch me with his other arm.. I grasped his 2nd arm locking both of them in my own hands.. asking him to calm down and hand over the money.

Now this guy, looked like a james bond villian.. He had a bald shaven head, with razor scars all over his face and deep scars at that.. he looked like he must be blind in one eye as well. In his hand was a bag of pills and a bit more cash.

So here is where we stood, Me holding onto this guys 2 arms.. looking at simon who'd had a large rock in his hand ready to throw at anyone who came close (haha) and the chef a bit shaken up.. pacing around. I said to the chef, what do you want me to do with him? The chef kept saying, dam dirty dog.. how could you!? I asked him again an the chef said, he just wanted his money back! So There I was holding the crook by the arms while the chef grabbed cash out of his pockets an wallet, with simon standing back with a large rock.. Now if any person had walked by and looked down the alley, it would have looked like we were robbing this guy! I asked the chef, when he got his money back, what he wanted me to do? He said "let him go, I just want my money!" Now the chef was a bit shook up.. but not wantting to have to deal with holding onto this guy anymore I let him go an we began to walk away, before leaving I told the guy, what, do you want to end up in prision, you idiot? He said, he'd already been! An before leaving his taunting us that he still had another $150 bucks on him!

So we all walked back to the cafe, where I came my full name and mobile number.. We left.. as we were walking up the road, cop cars came from everywhere with lights flushing etc.. we walked off had a few beers, then the cops called me and then they came and took us to the police station for interview and to give a statement.

A few days later, in the courier mail.. the local brisbane paper. A 300-400 word report with a pic of the chef appeared in the crime report section. Now, the story reported was the chef almost single handly had taken down the bad dood.. reading the entire story, I found at the very end, that we got a mention.. it was something like.. "An some other guys helped" Talk about a laugh! It was like we'd just beeen standing there clapping! So a few days later I walked into the cafe.. to see if the guy would say thanks for that, or offer me a free drink or just a pat on the back! Hell first shout of beer at the local pub would have done.. What happen? Nothin.. not a thing! I'm not glory hound. but fair suck of the sav mate!

Talk about life throwing you a curve ball?

All the best simon on ya travels home mate! An all the best too your lovely lady!

A work adventure...

2005-09-14T22:12:00.000+10:00

Well been awhile since I've had an update.. Don't worry theres tons of travel stories still in my head.. some are very, very naughty! So I hold onto those ones.. because a few of those people do surf this site..

But here is a work related one.. Here I was at a bar after work with a crowd of fellow telstra workers.. Chillin out playing some pool.. etc.. When in comes the boss.. now he's some pommy bugger, but thats straying from the point.. Some how he's more pissed them the rest of us combined. Anyway, some how he ends up on my lap, laughing, cheering carrying on.. he grabs my 1/4 full pint and then tips it all over my head.. I'm of course a bit bloody shocked.. So, I always go one up. I grab a jug of beer half full and tip it all over his head.. Right I thought, I must be fired!? He sitting there rubbing beer through his hair and eyes.. I'm pissing myself laughing thinking, this would be a good on my backpacking trips, but not with work mates, let alone the boss.. Anyway, not knowing any better I end up picking up my boss, tucking him into a ball and rolling him onto the pull table and I walk away with my hands in the air, thinking ok I got to be fired now.. I was laughing and thinking thats about it..

Anyway, thats something from me, And yeah still pulling lines for telstra as a dirty contractor!

Sunday, A day just to look and think.

2005-08-14T12:07:00.000+10:00

Isn't life just like a big jar of vegemite? Can't you just feel the serenity?

Heard of Skype? Voice over the internet?

2005-08-12T22:54:00.000+10:00

Got myself onto this and its free.. Thanks to a sweet little german girl.. well, not that sweet.. now more english then german, but you know she means well. My contact is DeeJayOfOZ.

You can check out voice over the internet software here:Skype

As I said its a free download so have a gander and see what you think.

Giddy up!

In the Year of our lord, on the 8th day of the 8th month.. Koala farmer came into the world.

2005-08-08T01:38:00.000+10:00

Oh yeah! Its me birthday! It's me birthday! *does homer simpson dance* Alright, alright.. enough messing about, I'm a serious man now.. Working for telstra here in australia. One of our biggest companies.. God knows how I ended up working for satan, but god dam it has the potentional of making me alot of money.

Alot of money= Feed the Travel Bug. Travel Bug get feed, Little Koala farmer get to see more of big, round blue thing called the earth. Koala farmer have more adventures, cause more mayhem! Meet more people. Break a few more hearts, get his heart broke.. Drink,dance and be merry. That isn't a bad life to live, right?

Ok, I could get married buy a house have babies. But I've always joked 40 would be the age I start doing that... Plus, life is already to hectic and short before getting up to change nappies at 330am in the morning. God knows as an uncle 6 times over I've had my fair share of ignoring that duty and letting my sister or brother change their own kids.. Huh? Whats an older brother slash uncle meant to do, help?

So what ever part of the world you are from, If you make it into a bar today or sometime this week, raise a glass in my honour and give me 3 cheers. As I've somehow manage to survive to another birthday!

Always outnumbered, Never outgunned.

Feed Back.. Can you feel the love?

2005-08-03T07:35:00.000+10:00

Well today, I was checking my email and I noticed off one of the travel website forums I've visted a few times.. Some one left me a remark about some of my movies I've posted. Here is what they had to say.. I am a simple, humble man..Life is like a jar of vegemite! Read On:

Hey Koala Farmer.
Very good work mate. You seem to have a talent that only 1 person every 20 years or so, is born with. As they say, quit your regular job, sell everything, move to L.A. and enroll in UCLA's film program, and Viola! within a couple of years, you will be making 100 million dollar epics!

BTW the pic of the girl with the look of incredulity holding the very small rubber dildo, can I meet her? I will show her a REAL cucumber

Ok, firstly it was a chocolate dildo for her 30th birthday. As for the rest of that, you'll have to take it up with her. The rest sounds like a line taken from a starwars film.. Once in 20 years.. someone like me comes along? Can you feel my power? You will be surprized that a few people have suggested I look at getting into some sorta film work.. though it mostly for being in front of the camera.. Most likely because I am an entertaining bastard, who can make people laugh.. cry and build dams in africa. What? Exactly, just nod and it will pass!

The two movies that have generated this stirring interest are these 2:

The NZ link of my around the world tour: Click me

An another part of NZ, me sledging down a river in a wild part of New Zealand, sweat-as bro! Click Me

Theres so much more, but you'll just have to look too the right side bar and have a gander yourself.. Life is an adventure.. we are meat to live it! Remember people.. spread the love, live life and laugh.. Before its all over.. Ok.. thats enough BS from myself..

PS: Hello to my fan from Manila, in the Philippines. I see you!! The lidless eye sees all.. There is no life in the void!

More pics from Catch up night.. in brisbane.

2005-07-26T20:32:00.000+10:00

Oh doesn't kim, Zoey and Kel.. look pretty posing before they got completely off their heads!

Kel? Did she pour half the drinkd down her top or is she about to throw up?

Group pic of the lot of us.. Yes, I am pouting for the camera, what?

Another travel mate.. Cedric, teaser of woman!

2005-07-22T09:17:00.000+10:00

Look we are pissed!!

The Shark.. a long story!Finally, the shark bite!

Here we have the last pics of us 2 mad crazy buggers together, before cedric heads off, After another big night out on the town.

Background story on how I met cedric, a swiss german who came to australia for 6 months. To get his golf handicap down so he could win a bet back home in swizterland. Not bad huh? Would we all love to be able to do that.

Anyway, the day I met cedric was on a pub crawl. This was our first chance to talk, he asked me what part of oz I was from? I told him Queensland mate, he asked me if that was near the gold coast surfers? I said yeah.. he asked about sharks.. I said you'll find a few around there.. blah blah.. he told me he wanted to go surfing and jump onto the back of a shark and bite it.. because it would be pay back at all the times the sharks have bit us! Now, I didn't know cedric at all, he had a bit of an accent.. I thought ok, maybe this is another case of, someone thinking in the own lanuage, then talking in a 2nd one and it doesnt translate out exactly! I quizz him a little and thought to myself.. DICKHEAD! Shook my head and walked off..

1-2 weeks later he was still around, an I got to understand that cedric was a bullshit artist. Once I worked that out, I could understand him and from there, we became good mates.

Cedric story Number 2: I call cedric, the great woman teaser.. there was this one instants where I was wrecked/totaled and asleep by 830pm on a friday night..Unheard of!!! Anyway, I woke up at 4am an was down in the kitchen making some early breaky/dinner and cedric walks in.. We strike up a chat about the night, I find out that few of the people have all hooked up and I laugh a bit.. I asked him about his night so he tells me that he met this Australian girl, they danced most of the night and spent the last 90mins kissing on the dance floor. I was a bit puzzled and asked what are you doing here then? Well dean, my friend he said. See I spent the night dancing an kissing her.. it got to the very end of the night and she said when can she see me again. I was like umm yeah? Well I thought I'd put my case forward very well, if the best she could say or do was when can I see you again, She was not for me so I told never and left her. I laughed very hard, Mate.. MAAAAATE! Why didn't you just ask? Oh no, I am the CEDRIC! I am a mountain come climb me.. We both had a good laugh about it! Next day everyone was telling me how attractive the girl cedric was with and he walked off on her!

Cedric thanks for the laughs and crazy times in melbourne on the last leg of my trip! All the best!

Like a Tiger..

2005-07-20T23:41:00.000+10:00

Argh, My famous Like a tiger.. WHat? Exactly!!! The full version, said with a very poor indian accent is.. I will make love to you, LIKE-A-TIGER! LIKE---A--TIGER!!.. Ok, when you are drunk and been travelling a long time.. it seems really funny and becomes a great catch phrase.. *shrugs*

More of the girls.. pics do the talking

2005-07-20T23:33:00.000+10:00

Pics do the talking, thats zoey umm.. going off for whats left of her birthday!

Caught Up With the girls.

2005-07-15T16:01:00.000+10:00

Kel, random backpacker and Zoey, Its her birthday! 5 hours in a hairdressers, for that hair!

Here we go then, Caught up with Zoey and Kel. The girls from florida.. And let me tell you, they are 5 times more of a handful, then you can imagine. I was a little tired and worse for wear, having been up since 4am that morning for work. I wasn't going to let that stop me, oh no bloody way in deed.

Lets say you spell trouble with a Z an K in this part of the world when these two are out an about. Mind you, it was Zoey birthday, she had a whole list of objectives too score to win that night. Kissing several different guys from various nations, being one of them.. the rest, lets say are creative and kept her busy.

Link: The old story about da girls from shewsbury

Well, night lasted till about 5am for myself. I said good bye too the girls, I think they were planning on staying a few days extra in brisbane beforing heading down to sydney, not sure but what more can a man do but dance!

Wish the girls the best.. *Shake my head @ the shewsbury girls*

travel adventures of a koala farmer

The New Zealand Live Life Tour 2004-2005

2005-07-10T08:23:00.000+10:00

Do you need some inspiration to go travel? To take life to another level? Bored of the rat race? Need an injection of some maddness, fun and adventure? Then sit down, shut up and click this vid link.. 2min vid may just give you that final push to go off and live life, somewhere else for a while..

If not, then it should entertain you!

Normal version: 2.20mins in length 4.5 meg in size.

Click here .

As always, HI res version. How its meant to be viewed!

Click here! 2.20minsLong 8.8meg in size.

Hope you enjoyed the very brief shots of my experience in New Zealand. If you think It looks fun or I had some fun, those pics can only do so much justice in what actually happen.

travel adventures of a koala farmer

www.putfile.com for hosting the files.

Koala Farmer? Like What the?!?!

2005-07-08T05:24:00.000+10:00

Let me start, where most stores begin.. yes I was butt naked, drunk, smeared in vegemite and... Ok, joking there, just pulling your leg. It was 3 days into my around the world trip, which I had started in Sept 2003. It involved a Very attractive woman from New york (doesn't it always?), who I had seen around the piccadilly hotel I was staying at. I'd noticed her but never had a chance to talk with her.

As I said above, it been 3 days into my trip and I thought I better check my emails and let family/friends know I am alive and made it here with no problems.

So Here I was sitting in a cyber cafe, just up the road, coughing at the cost in aussies dollars converting from british pounds, using the net. As I logged into my hotmail account and was watching the hour glass icon twirling.. And watching my internet mins ticking down.. I heard the door open, I was to focused on logging into the computer, but the reaction of the 3 guys to my left made me raise my eyes. I saw them all turn and look. So naturally I too, looked up too see what had their attention. It was the New york girl, from my hotel. We made eye contact, well I was just staring at her, in a daze. When all of a sudden she cheekily poked her tongue out at me. A bit stunned, I said oie! we both laughed and I went back to watching my hourglass icon twirling.. I was thinking to myself, what the bugger? Have I got the slowest computer in london?

It must of been all of 5 mins in total, but it felt a hell of alot longer, when I suddenly heard the new york girl, typing at a million miles an hour. I turned around and saw she had already logged in and was writing emails away furiously. I said to her, hey don't show off to much, some of us are still waiting to log in.. Ive been here 10mins.. this was the ice breaker and we started talking.. Well to be more honest, I was most likely talking so much funny BS to her she couldnt keep from laughin.. think funny harassment..

In the middle of shit stirring back and forth, she leaned over and asked me what I did for a living? My brain kicked into gear, Aussie, london, beer, computer.. none of those are any good, suddenly it just flashed into my brain. I gave it a dramatic pause, looked up, cleared my throat and lowered my voice and really put on the aussie twang, "Well you see", I said. "I'd be a koala farmer". She almost burst out laughing, but quickly got it back under control. She said is that right? I said oh yea! I paused for a few, thinking ok, ok.. what do I say? Don't appear to eager, just be casual. So I said, what do you do for a living then? Appearing to be real busy reading and writing my personal emails. It seems the whole net cafe was listening in on our conversation. She said aloud, I'm a prostitute, an escort girl. I just about choked on my own tongue, she was laughing, but the shocked facial expressions of the people eve's dropping into our talk, also made me just about loose it. My brain kicked into gear, ok, how the hell do I come back with anything against that? I said to myself.. again, slow it down, slow-it-down. Well you know what that means then? I fired off.. She looked up and over, what? Well with my koala farming skills and all my koala farms & koala dairy and your natural sales ability, being a lady of the night, we'll have to get together, because we'll make millions if not billions together! Its all there. Before I could get anything else out, people all around us started laughing their arses off.

A several months later, we'd had made plans to catch up in new york, when I flew out of ireland. I ended up meeting as you can imagine, alot of americans in a short space of time, in new york (Shock huh?). Not wanting to speak to much BS all the time, I actually wanted to talk about what I had done for a living...that was I worked in the mining industry, My home town being Mount Isa, which is a mining town. But because of my aussie accent, the way I said mining and how it sounded to most americans was different.

As you can imagine, when you travel around the world, you can meet alot of different people, from alot of different backgrounds. Who will work in alot of different fields, from yourself. When I was passing through the USA, I was constantly asked, what industry did I work in, before my trip? I can remember it clearly. Some random american asking, so Dean, what industry do you work in? I would simply look over too them and say, I grew up in a mining town, I work in the mining industry. They would give me a puzzled look, miming industry? It was my turn to give a funny look, "No, the M-I-N-I-N-G industry." "Not Miming!!!" American local "You're mime?" Learning accents can be painful, I tried again. "No mines! Like minerals, copper, lead, zinc, silver, gold.. coal? get it? digging underground etc?" American local, "so you ain't a mime artist, then?" Giving up and not wanting to invest the time and effort in adapting my accent for the 4-5 time this happened. I simply started to say, "Well, you see I'm a koala farmer" American mouth would drop, "like woah, really?" I'd clear my throat and say " yea, its a bloodly tough job, but someone has to do it." Those koalas sleep 20 odd hours a day and you need someone, to give them a poke with a stick, just to make sure their alive." numerous americans, english, other nationals would listen on in interest. As I traveled across the world in 2003. I began to add a little extra to it each time. So eventfully, it was something like this, Yes, The names Dean, I'm a koala farmer. Yes, you heard me right. Great job, you get to make sure the koalas wake up every 20 odd hours like they are meant too. which is all good. My future plans are to go into koala dairy. Though I am finding I'm having a hard time at it.. because milking the koalas with my big fingers and hands is slow going. They've only got small teets. I hope they invent a machine to do it soon. Gourmet koala milk, theres nothing better.

Like everything, its how you say it and deliver it. Its something I began to enjoy in the USA. With my accent and a bit of wit and humour, I could get away with murder. Many a guy travelling with me would say, how the hell can you say that and not make people get upset? I'd look over too them and say, I think its all about having an accent and just the way you say it too. God knows, if i said this stuff back home, people would try to knock my block off..

Travelling, it broadens the mind, or maybe you just drink to dam much and you think it does.. Have a good day.

Odd Travel Jobs. Nose Model. Cause its all I nose, err knows!

2005-07-03T18:14:00.000+10:00

One of the odd jobs I scored on my tour of the world, was that of a nose model. A nose model? I hear you laughing back! Trust me, its for real! You've heard of hand models, body doubles etc.. There are such things as nose models. It was the summer of 2002, When I had the chance to first put my snoze into a model role. It was by chance walking down 5th aven in New york, that a woman approached me informing me of my fine, large snoze. (nose people,get with the program) She said, it was inhumaninly large and mighty in appearance. Was it real, she asked me! I said, It was an a few games of rugby league and a few elbows had added too its shape. She said my nose was rugged and macho australian in appearance, that I could make a small fortune in an elite model school, if I was prepared to work hard and put my nose too the grind, so to speak.After a short stint, doing small nose model gigs, in local ads in an around new york. It wasn't long before I hit it big, with a large plastic surgery firm. I was the before shot.. You see commonly in those ads, in various mags/papers/tv ads. Suddenly I found myself in the big time, Milan, London, New york. The world was my oyster. I developed my look, that of the flared nostrel outback ocker aussie miner, coming home from a long hard shift working underground look. I strutted down, the nose model catwalks in milan to high acclaim, wow them in london, an rocked their socks off in New york. There wasn't a dry nose in the place, at the end of the night.

But like all fairytales, it had a dark side. With the fame and the new fortune, there was woman, wine and alot of song. It was on one of these many wild nights, as I was getting jiggy with it on the dance floor, A stray elbow clocked me in the nose and completely straighting it. Something you thought would not be a bad thing to happen, right? Well my whole nose model scene had been built on my rugged, macho slightly bent to one side nose. (A group of nose models out on the town.. look at the snozzes!)

Now, I had this sleek, sexy look. I lost confidence in myself, I didn't know my role anymore. I shunned the limelight! Afraid, people would find me too sexy and not the macho rugged son of a bitch I was before... I wandered off into self imposed exile. Travelling the world, seeking what, where, who I was.. where Id turn too.. it was by then, I found my path in the koala farming industry. The koalas didn't care, if I had a dead sexy nose or a rugged macho, slightly bent one. Hell, they sleep 20 hours a day and doped out on gum leaves, to care..

So ended my life of being a nose model. Who knows, I may just rebuild my career and strike a pose, one day.. maybe one day!

Wild night out in the limo, after the nose model award nights!! travel adventures of a koala farmer

Ode to the jager Bomb!

2005-07-02T08:53:00.000+10:00

What the hell is a jager bomb I hear you looking preplexed! Its a pint of red bull with a shot glass of jager, as you can see above. I was introduced too these in NZ. In the globe bar in auckland. I think rightly by this lass! Alexa would be her name, my 2 weeks in auckland was about trying a whole lot of new things. I ended up asking her to give me something I'd never had before. I think the next few days, I'd tried numerous different types of drinks. But the jagerbomb held its place at the top. Roughly 10 bucks kiwi a show.. and you bang it down fast!

I ended up in rotura, with the mad bugger freddie! Where we just did rounds after rounds of jagerbombs.. I tell you that stuff can seriously hurt your insides. Somehow me and freddy ended up in wellington, going at it 2 days straight.. Well I was awake for a whole 2 days! Pulled a bird as well, which may of just kept me going for that long too. I hit the third day, my body was shakin and twitchin from the huge amounts of caffine and other nasty stuff in red bull. I'd been caffine free for many years before this.. I staggered up too the bar, all my companions and friends, dead, asleep and worn out.. I was the last, I told them of my plight and the need for something to knock me out! The bartenders, mixed up some strong foul mixture of brew and I sculled it too their surprize.. 10 mins later, I was passed out and sleeping for 12hours.

Its till this very day, I have that nervious twitch whenever I walk passed an ad for red bull or jagermeister.. but it brings back cloudy memories of the maddness I had in NZ.

Edit: I introduced this drink at a few bars in melbourne, actually surprized some of them had never heard of it.. They ended up giving me a few free rounds for showing them a new drink.

Jager bomb on people, cheers!

Sledging the Kaitiaki River In NZ.

2005-06-28T08:25:00.000+10:00

New Zealand is known for its adventure Sports. Sleding has to be one of the most intense, painful, thrilling,frightening experiences you can have in water without having sex or being attacked by a shark. Its something you want to at least attempt in your life. I could hardly walk a few days later from the amount of bashing I took from the hidden rocks and what ever else my body hit coming down that river..Its not for the faint hearted. When they were giving the safety talk, I was rolling my eyes, yeah! yeah! big danger.. after we hit the first set of grade 2-3 rapids, we all crapping our pants and a few people pulled out. So, I can assure you sledging rivers in NZ.. is full on..

One last thing I'll have to say, is be better prepared then myself. averaging 3 hours a sleep for 8 days before hand and not eating right. Being hung over, didn't add to my experience of the sledging. I cramped up real bad, that I was the only silly bugger to go over the waterfall.. and everyone thought I meant it. I can assure you, I was kicking like a mad man and I had no other choice.. so I have 2 vids, ones standard, the other is HI-version. I prefer the HI-version.. So, sit back watch some crazy arse maddness.. if you ever get the chance, give it ago.. 135bucks kiwi dollars!

travel adventures of a koala farmer

Normal version. 3-4meg in size:
Sledging Down kaitiaki river

Link To the Hi sled vid: 8 Meg version http://www.putfile.com/media.php?n=SledingNZriverfinished2005PS1&width=800

Typical blokes, good looking woman walks our way and we loose it.

2005-06-27T18:13:00.000+10:00

Me: Stunned, James: Shocked, Marv: Exploding.. As a hot swedish woman struts her stuff on the dance floor.

travel adventures of a koala farmer

Chance to redeem one's self!!

2005-06-27T16:49:00.000+10:00

I have a vested interest in getting these 2 girls above very drunk. Thats a little pay back! And fortune smiles on the brave, because these 2 girls are arriving in australia on the 13th of july. Who are they why should I want to get them *cough* shitfaced? Well, this this story has something to do about with it... yes, these 2 are the girls from florida.. without them I'd never have worried about touring NZ as I did, without their info... So, girls.. be forewarned.. Youll be the ones looking like this at the end of the night!!

travel adventures of a koala farmer

koala farming Secrets

2005-06-27T02:40:00.000+10:00

IF you click the picture above of our new york recruit, it will show you some live action from a koala farm. And how they don't fall out of trees to easy and the sounds of the koala males mating call. Do I have to make it easier for you? http://www.putfile.com/media.php?n=Koala-Farming-101

2nd Koala Farming Vid, that will shock you and make you say at the end, steve irwin who? Croc dundee never tamed that! Trust me, tune in at the very end of this vid to see my ultimate wildlife taming skills in action.. struth!!! Cracks open a beer!

http://www.putfile.com/media.php?n=koala2_0002

Get that up ya clackerjacker!

travel adventures of a koala farmer

Fantastic Road trip down West Coast of New Zealand.

2005-06-26T20:39:00.000+10:00

A Road trip can't get better then this! At the end of it, I got to hike the world famous Franz Joesph glacier. IF you ever get the chance, have a go.. the vid will show whats wat!

NZ world Famous WestCoast and glaciers Vid file hosted by www.putfile.com

Outback Born, 20+ years in the tropics, first time in Snow.

2005-06-26T18:02:00.000+10:00

Being born in a place like Mount Isa, which is an remote mining town, in the far north west of Queensland. The chances of seeing any snow locally won't happen. Like going to a desert and expecting to see icebergs! Only in an ice age.

So the chance to hike a glacier for 8-10 hours was the best way to experience it all in one hit. I listen to a couple of irish lasses. Who told me to get in every first group to make sure I see everything. Well, what they fail to mention was the first group took the longest and hardest routes. It was for the hardcore glacier hiker.. That would have been fine if I'd not being wrecking my body on ten different adventure tours before, over the past couple weeks. But god dam it, I made it. We lost afew people down the crack of a large chasm, but I thought, hell they knew the risks when they choose to come on this hike.. To bloody cold to stop.. Like who's going to miss a few english backpackers in NZ? Theres thousands of them..

Able Tasman area of New Zealand.

2005-06-26T17:01:00.000+10:00

Sharing one Of My fave pics from my travels. Able tasman, area of NZ.. northern part of the south island. Yes, the NORTHERN part of The Southern Part.. OF NZ. got it?

Here is Myself, Moniek again and another crazy dutch girl, who's name has long dripped out of my brain. She was about 19 years old, came to NZ for a year, bought a car for 600 bucks and drove around the country. Working on sheep farms and anything she could get her hands in. I think she fall in love with a kiwi sheep farmer of about 30 years of age. She bumped into me and moniek as we were touring the able tasman in our own hire car.

Sydney Harbour Fireworks... New Year Eve Vid

2005-06-24T22:42:00.000+10:00

Sydney Harbour, New Year Eve. Video contains fireworks off the sydney harbour bridge. Enjoy!

Heres the vid to big countdown and launch of fireworks off the bridge and harbour:

http://www.putfile.com/media.php?n=SydneyNewYearDj2

The green Lush Grand Canyon... NOT!!!!!

2005-06-24T16:18:00.000+10:00

Lets see, You have me and the Grand canyon.. What else do you bloody need people? Oh yea and a few travel friends along for the ride and to hog the camera.. Pfft!

And heres a video: http://www.putfile.com/media.php?n=The-Grand-Canyon2003-2004

invited guest 4 lunch in auckland.. What the?

2005-06-24T16:09:00.000+10:00

Here I was minding my own business, in harbour of auckland, NZ. When my peaceful lunch has an un-invited guest drop by, like what the?

A wmv video: http://www.putfile.com/media.php?n=Guest4lunch2004 For more detail.

the cheek!!! But, hey on a tight budget, best way to attract them. then when they are distracted by your food, throw them in your sack and eat the birds later.. talk about saving the $$ when travelling.. what? .. seriously what? On come on!

thanks to www.putfile.com again for da hosting of the file.

La-Moniek, Great Dutch friend.. Ok she's mad, an artist. But fun.

2005-06-24T15:37:00.000+10:00

La-Moniek, We met at rotura in NZ. We went for a hike, and this is where She did the famous, film me!!! But!! Don't film me movie!! Am I sexy enough? Am I too sexy? LOL.. crazy dutch girl! Which I mean in a good way! We were good friends, shared many an adventure in Nz. I drove around NZ, while she hiked and she always seem to beat me to the next destination.. How? Some crazy dutch secret I guess! She kept alot of us on our toe's! Gave us plenty of stories.

Now the Vid: http://www.putfile.com/media.php?n=La-Moniek-No-dont-film-me

Thanks again to www.putfile.com for hosting, great service!

The Dean and Jan chronicles

2005-06-24T15:20:00.000+10:00

Here's Jan, Looking sad and unhappy! Poor girl. What follows next is some of the mayhem and unhappyness we both shared in melbourne together. Again, I will state. If you want to see 2 unhappy people then don't watch these flicks..

http://www.putfile.com/media.php?n=JanPose2

http://www.putfile.com/media.php?n=Dean-Jan-trainstation-1

http://www.putfile.com/media.php?n=Jan-Dean-Gone-nuts

ok, 2 people acting like a couple of nuts having a good laugh.. that is what life is for.. giddy up!

Zev's Maori Gecko Tatoo

2005-06-24T14:41:00.000+10:00

Here is a Final example of Zev, the german girls tatoo. Its a maori gecko! Link to her story and a nice little vid of her getting it done. Who said, getting a tatoo never hurt? Muwahaha

And here is Zev getting her maori Gecko tatto.. OOh, you can just feel the pain.

: http://www.putfile.com/media.php?n=DJNZDJ-199 again thanks to www.putfile.com for hosting this.

Link: To the first part of this story http://dvj2005.blogspot.com/2005/06/maori-gecko-tatoo-and-puzzled-dean.html

Queenslander!!! State of Origin.

2005-06-24T14:32:00.000+10:00

There are times of passion, of hurt and pain.. I feel there is nothing that comes close too this on the sporting field, then the State of origin. A game called rugby league, Check out the website and a little vid I uploaded for what I mean!.. Go the Queenslanders!! Currently the contest is Queensland 1, NSW 1. The last and final game is played in the next few weeks, winner takes all!!

http://www.australianrugbyleague.com.au/index.cgi?sID=2&intArticleID=20&det=1

example vid: http://www.putfile.com/media.php?n=Queenslander_0001

Great World wonder in Australia's back yard

2005-06-24T14:18:00.000+10:00

I was lucky enough, To see one of the world wonders in australia. I was lucky enough to share it with someone special that I had met in NZ and we came back to OZ via cairns down the east coast to brisbane before flying back out to NZ again. The great Hervey Bay, where my old man is going to retire.. I think.. Have a gander, see one of nature's largest beasts playing along side our boat. They came right up and you could almost touch them. It was an amazing sight, to see such a huge animal, up close. In the end I was wondering who was putting on the show, us or them? Have a gander at the whale photo story: http://www.putfile.com/media.php?n=whales

thanks again to www.putfile.com for hosting this.

http://www.putfile.com/media.php?n=whales

The Last Laugh, The long return home. PhotoStory online

2005-06-23T17:49:00.000+10:00

Northern Irish Phil. Apart of the maddness, that was at the end of my around the world trip. This is the way to end 3-4 years travellering overseas, when coming home to your own country.

Just to let you know, all photostories contain music and sound.. So don't be shocked if you hear a few tunes, while they are playing!

My Last laugh, on coming home from my last trip overseas via southern parts of australia. Click this PhotoStory too see the mayhem: http://www.putfile.com/media.php?n=The-Last-Laugh

Great Ocean Road Photo Story is online.

2005-06-23T15:00:00.000+10:00

http://www.putfile.com/media.php?n=SexyStuAndDeanGreatoceanRoadtour&width=800

Putfile.com has fixed its problems.. View away!

Travel mates: 2 pommy bastards and a sexy welsh woman!

2005-06-23T03:44:00.000+10:00

And very, very, very!! over due Travel Friends update! Here we have, leevi (bad spelling) Helen and freddie. All bloody characters this lot!

Well, what can I say about freddie? He's the guy too the far right. The man lived life to the make in NZ. The stories I could tell.. it was like some sorta travelling porn fest for this guy. I could write a whole book on his adventures.. And those are the ones I just saw.

I first heard about freddie in rotura, I was told he was a drinking, party entertaining fun machine! I was told that I should befriend him because the 2 of us would cause mayhem. I said right? We both first met completely sober. And I think we both had heard about each other various adventures through other people, we looked each other down, said.. yea right and that seemed the end of that.. But where did this story change? In the bar.. Were the real men drink hard.. thats how we got on.. we both damaged our livers and kidneys together. From there the rest is such a twisted tale of sex, adventure and alcohol. that I don't think I have it in me to repeat. Just trust me freddie was one hell of a great guy and party animal.

Helen, was this firey little welsh woman, I met her through freddie. The last thing that sticks in my mind, when I had bumped into them 2 weeks later was, they both had a sex comp running. Thats right.. who could shag the most people in 2 weeks. helen was in front of course. I said, come on.. thats no contest.. She's a girl. its to easy for her.. freddie us men have to put on the charm.. crack a few jokes. .work the strings.. pull a few hearts.. if we get a shag at the end of the night.. good lord we have bloody well earned it.. All she has to do is walk into a bar, with her large breasts stand in a corner and say in a firm voice. .Hello boys, I am a mountain, come climb me!.. there would be a stampede of males and most likely a females! Trust me..

Mad bastards all over! I would raise a glass to freddie, but I still have nightmares about drinking jager bombs with him through 3-4 cities in NZ.. the pain, the lack of sleep and the Laughs! Cheers fred! Go hard mate..

Travel Friends Update! OverDue this one is..

2005-06-23T03:27:00.000+10:00

Very OverDue Travel Friend Update: This is Anna. She's in a few pics along with moniek, martin and various others through my Nz leg of my trip home.

Whats the story behind me meeting anna? Well, it goes something like this. I rocked up in a small town called paihia in far northern NZ. A resort town, you could call it. a summer beach town. Thats when you actually get summer in NZ. I'd checked into my room, only the top bunk left.. started talking too this 6foot 8 tall english/welsh guy and he told me the room was full of germans.. Skipping ahead.. I ended up meeting the right people in this very small town and suddenly I was away for 2 days partying. Ok, I met a girl.. but thats awhole another story. When I returned to my room, the english lad had left and I started talking to this dutch girl. Thinking everyone else must be german.

I was standing at the door way, when I saw this little blonde woman, making her way to our door from outside. I clicked the door to locked. As it was a glass sliding door. She looked up at me puzzled like, put her key in the door and unlocked it. I then straight away, locked it again.. yawned and kept talking to my dutch friend. This went on 2-3 more times, so I open the door and looked her up and down and said, argh so you must be german then! She look at me in shock, "How did you know?" she stammered! I used a old line, I could tell by the way you walked! This lead into a 20min discussion on how germans walked.. in the end she realized I was taking the piss out of her.. and it was just a fluke, that she had been german. Because all the germans in the room from 2 days ago had moved out.. She had only checked into day. The Poor girl, we became friends of sort, and ended up travelling together for some time. Great companion, with anna making sure all my bags were packed and when we moved on too the next place, moniek had all our tours, sights and things to see preplanned, how could I go wrong? It was all good for me!

Funny thing though, anna ended up meeting this rafting guide in NZ, It got fairly seriously quickly and before I knew it she ended up spending the last couple of months with him. She returned home to germany, for a couple of months. Then fly back to NZ to be with her kiwi rafting guide.. I wish them the best, have not heard from her in awhile.. But what ever shes up tooo, its most likely good fun..

All the best anna and thanks for many a laugh, drink and adventures!

*Cheers*!

Maori Gecko tatoo and A puzzled Dean.

2005-06-23T03:22:00.000+10:00

Zev asking me to Hold her hand while she got a maori gecko tatooed on her, *Cough* nether regions!!! Like I had nothing better to do? Hmm! She was a crazy germen girl who befriended my dutch friend La-Moniek. Which it turns out, few months before, my brazilian mate had hit on Zev (the german girl) not the dutch one in a bar, very heavy and she'd told him to shove it.. Small world.. is it not? Zev then asked me in the end how romantic this was.. I just looked puzzled and took off in my hire car.. with La-Moniek.

Mount Doom in Lord of the Rings.

2005-06-23T03:17:00.000+10:00

For you Lord of the Rings Fans, this is Mount Doom, the Volcano used in those films. Its part of a 18km hike you do. Takes about 8 hours or so.. tongariro crossing is the hikes name. Look it up on google!

Moniek, Anna And Me.. Lake Taupo 2004.

2005-06-23T03:13:00.000+10:00

La-Moniek, Anna and Myself. Hired a Sale Boat on lake taupo in NZ. As you can tell, it was a warm, hot day. Anyway, its a pic I bloody enjoy!

Jan, out fishing me on her very first Go!

2005-06-23T01:54:00.000+10:00

I took Jan fishing in the Brisbane river, as a bit of a joke. I just really wanted to see if you could actually catch anything? We started fishing off south bank, her mum was visting and yeah she caught a decent size catfish. While I was left holding my rod laughing to myself. Bloody beginners luck!

I had a Good Xmas 2004. But was it all a Dream?

2005-06-23T01:43:00.000+10:00

Sharing a group of My fave pics, Jan & myself together over Xmas last year. Looks like we didn't have a good time together. Argh well, you can only give things ago, right?

Sexy Stu and Deano's Road trip- Photo Story Coming Soon..

2005-06-23T01:27:00.000+10:00

You Read Right, Sexy stu and Dean's Great ocean road tour. One of victoria's best road trips. So if you ever get to melbourne, make sure you do this. And hope to hell it isn't raining or cold, wet,windy...grey. what am I saying? Its melbourne, that all happens in the one day.. Giddy up and enjoy.. Photostory movie will be online soon. Word to my mate Sexy stu, the dave beckham of the stripper world in the UK.. what a guy!

Photo story link here soon. www.putfile.com seems to be down or playing up grr!

The Great Ocean Roads PhotoStory is Online: http://www.putfile.com/media.php?n=SexyStuAndDeanGreatoceanRoadtour&width=800

Thanks too Upload Video and Images - Putfile

Sweet Tracey, How the devil did she end up with me? wink

2005-06-23T01:05:00.000+10:00

Tracey, An american Nurse, Sweet, Sharing, great laugh, Had 3 legs, but hey you can't hold things like that against people. Just because her mother and father were sister and brother, OOooh ok.. I am joking.. She'd kill me. Its always about the laughing! You just gotta laugh. Life is to dam short.

Why Keep such happy photos tucked away on my computer or stored on a CD in a cupboard? Why not share So of my happiest moments in the past 12 months of my life, with you lot.. I don't know you and you bloody well don't know me.. But you can look, laugh and smile and say, gebus what a guy.. err, I mean wat a picture. Yes, thats what I mean! Got to share the love.

Its about Time, for an Update!!!

2005-06-23T00:35:00.000+10:00

A look back over the past year, has me to post a couple of updates... Here is myself And Jan. Met her in melbourne, On the way home from New zealand Great Kiwi girl. Just don't get her to say Fish and chips.. Trust me. How Ironic, I met a kiwi girl in australia after being NZ for a fair amount of time?

Put together an update of a few pics of us enjoying our time together. I normally would not post my "Real Personal" stories.. but hell, you only live once.. Embrace, Enjoy, live life and laugh. Thats what sharings for.. In the end, I cut her up and buried her in the backyard. I'm new to this serial killer bussiness, so I may have messed up by telling you lot, what I just did. Hey only joking.. To much hassle.

Update Of my Travel Stories

2005-05-03T15:35:00.000+10:00

Basicly, this is a break down of some of my backpacking travel stories. Short quick links in to what I got up to over the last couple of years travelling. Seeing how there's so much to dig through. Have a read and you might just get a laugh. You never known, it may just inspire you to go do some travelling.. Only got one life..the house, car, kids, debts, can wait..

The Day I learnt there was a god: Click Me

Origins of the koala farmer story: Click me, not that hard!

My first Trip To london: Click here to Read More

My photo story/music adventure through NZ: Click me (You'll need latest windows media player for this to work and some sound.)

Mad Capped female-Scotish tour bus driver: Ouch aye

New york city 2002-9-11, 1 year after 2001, 9-11 through my eyes: Click me

Set Up In Canada, By MY AUNTY!!!: Click me And she said trust me.. Pffft!

New york city pic, that still makes me laugh: LOL How much did he make?

I include this, because I am an idiot: DOh?

Mythology of Australians In North america: Well via my experience

Yes, Australians Do speak english: My San diego experience.

Travel Friends New zealand Leg: 2 Mad dutchies

A week archive I'll share with you: You know what to do.

Glasglow, Fist of fury: Because I just shake My head.

When good deeds go wrong: Oops Did you just drop you 4000$ camera?

A few things backpacking has taught me!

2005-05-03T15:22:00.000+10:00

One of the main things, I've learnt, That within 2 days at any backpackers in the world, any city, place or time. You will meet and greet people and begin to share stories, travels, laughters, ups and downs with people.I truely believe this is open to everyone out there in this big bad world. So don't let anything hold you back.

A simple hello, g'day, nod of the head will get things started. I think its a really cool, way to live and travel. That you could end up in paris, london, new york, melbourne, hell even mount isa and end up sharing trip of a life time, well in mount isas case, maybe you got lost? LOL!

Most of my travels before were via, hotels/motels etc.. So get out there and don't let the fact you are on ya own hold you back from travelling. All you need is a bed to sleep, a place to store your stuff and a few travel friends to experience the world..

And the fact you might have a partner, doesn't have to stop you either. Ok, if you've been married a few years, have a few kids and want that romantic trip, this might not be an option, unless you are swedish? Though I am not really sure, what that really means in the end.

Dean, Phil, Dane,Arron. (Aussie,Canadian,English,Irish)

2005-05-03T15:17:00.000+10:00

A pic martan took of us, racing forward and jumping back and clicking!

And yes, I know I am wearing a new zealander shirt. I Had/have 20 or so nation rugby/sport shirts I bought I my around the world trip. Lead to some interesting encounters. And me trying to use alot of crappy accents. Hey, as long as ya having fun, right?

Martin's Pic, before I forget..

2005-05-03T15:14:00.000+10:00

Tragic times at the friendly backpackers. Groups splitting up. Here we have martin, long hair front left. Group of misfits the rest of them, expect that guy in the south african shirt. So here is the pic of martin: The v for victoria, I think? LOL!

Martin's Travel Blogs... mate from melbourne.

2005-05-03T14:37:00.000+10:00



Martin's Web Blog:

Here is martin, loves his music, developed some skills in the art of dolphin and shark hunting. (long story).

Short verions how we met. Arrived in Melbourne, moved around a bit. Ended up in the friendly backpackers, met martin in my room. He's only 18, well just turned 19 from memory. We shared a few stories, met a few of his mates and had a few drinks. Went to a few rock club/bars with him in melbourne. He met this irish girl, one night where we had gone to the green house backpackers. the sister Backpackers to the friendly backpacker. They had on a free BBQ.

At any rate, We all left him alone at the table to get our food. On the way back, there was martin and this mid 20s irish lass, chatting away. But with all us rough talking, hungry blokes come charging up, she took off. We all thought he was in...

Couple weeks go by, myself and canadian phil are in brunswick street, trendy area of melbourne. few drinks, dancing, checking out the scene, when by chance and without me knowing, we run into the very irish girl that had been chating to martin. Once phil, pointed this out to me and I came to my senses, I started to paint the picture, how in demand martin was. She was playing the, "I'm dead sexy irish lass, why should I care?" front. I shrugged my shoulders, said something to the effect of, well martins got it all happening, be a shame to let some silly little attitude get in the way, but if you are too busy, no doubt martin would have to juggle to much to fit you in.. Maybe if we just swapped numbers and you guys could work it out later? She shook her head, whipped out a little note book, with her email and cell number and handed it too me. I laughed "What you have a whole book full of your details?" She said no, but the effect of creating that martin was a high mountain, that needed to be climbed!! Made her come in charging.

Later on his phone buggered up, so he used mine to set up the date and where to go out. They had a nice couple of days. At any rate, I just wanted him to be real busy so I could play with his ipod!!!

Afternoon Update on a rainy brisbane Day.

2005-04-12T16:19:00.000+10:00

Just a quick update, The stories below the one in melbourne (yet to be finished) and the story in glasglow. Are the only 2 times I had any troubles on my overseas trips in the last 3-4 years. I could say I was dam lucky or someone above was looking out for me. At any rate, These things will happen. So don't for once let any bad stories make you think twice about travelling. Plus theres tons on here about so many fun things to get into.

As all ways keep laughing and enjoying life.

Dean.

Rumble in the Jungle Melbourne style.

2005-04-10T23:51:00.000+10:00

Seeing how I've been talking about my fight night in glasglow. I thought I'd finish off the bit of serious trouble that I only experienced in my time travelling. Its kinda funny, I've been through alot of the worlds biggest cities, subways, alley ways at the wrong times of the day or night. Yet, Not once did I encounter any trouble. But, I guess I pushed my luck in old melbourne town.

There was this cheap bar, called the dallas bar, off king street. Near the heart of the city. Fairly lively place, king street is full of bars and strip clubs. The dallas bar rep is that of a bit of a fight bar. It attracts that kind of crowd. Well, a group of us had been drinking at the bug bar and we'd all signed a pack with the devil to do a neighbours night out at st kilda. (neighbours is a aussie tv show, popular with the poms) The bug bar shut at 11pm-12am. So, naturally the group of travellers headed over the closest and cheapest bar, you got it, the dallas bar.

Anyway, getting right too it. Our group of 3 girls and 4 guys, grabbed a few cheap drinks and started to play some pool, while the other half, danced like smegs. We were playing a game of doubles. Myself and a english girl by the name of beth, were up against irish colin and another english girl. All was good, everyone was enjoying themself and the bar was pretty empty. Then in walked 2 pacific island guys and 2 girls, that dress like a combo of " in da hood" and "brit spears". The girls, not the guys.. for the love of god. You got that? Ok, anyway, getting back to it.... I noticed the whole room atmosphere changed, when these dudes walked in and it was a vibe of trouble.

I went to exchanged glances with a few of the lads, but they were all to busy either drinking, dancing. It seems, what built up to the problem, while 4 of us were playing our game of pool, one of the pacific island guys started to steal drinks right under the nose of one of the guys with us and I think he saw this as a sign, we didn't want trouble and that he could get away with what he wanted.

As beth was looking to play a shot down my end of the pool table, this pacific island guy walked up and tried to tell her he wanted a game. She said sure mate, after you put back our 1 dollar you pinch off the table and place some of ya coins there. You can be next game after that. The guy grunted at her and I walked up asking whats up? He didnt look me in the eyes, he answered my question but kept avoiding eye contact. The guy was heavily pissed.

5 mins went by and again, he moved up to the table and tried to take the pool stick out of beths hands, I walked up and said whats going on? Brave, little beth told him to piss right off. He wanted a game. I said "mate, we are playing a game right now.. do you understand?" "you'll going to have to wait." "This is our game, ok?"... he kept avoiding eye contact and at the moment, one of the mad drunken irish lads with our group, was doing some mad dance shit on the dance floor, so I became distracted and look in his direction. What I didn't see, was the pacific island guy, turning his back to me, and then he did a double look over his shoulder in my direction and then cracked me with his elbow in my nose.

My head rocked back, I was shocked and stunned.. Time basicly slows down when this shit is happening.. I felt like an entire age had passed, He look back to see me still standing and he had a bit of a shock look on his face.. He didn't know I came from thick headed mount isa/irish/lithuian/scotish stock. My nose hurt like a mother &#$%&@, I put my hand to my nose, blood was pissing out of it, beth was smacking him with her hands and he was trying to do something to her as well. I Just grabbed him and picked him up right off the floor and drove him into the nearest walled and slammed him tooo the ground. The 2-3 bouncers and bar staff all of course jumped on me. But I was filled with the notion of breaking this guys nose.. as he may of broken mine!

As I pushed off the bouncers and bar staff, I had the guy pinned to the floor. Everytime I tried to throw a punch, a bouncer or bar staff guy, would grabbed my arm in half swing. Basicly all my group, just saw me pick up the guy and drive him to the wall then throw him too the ground. So, they all jump on me trying to get me to stop fighting.. Which, I heard but I didnt want to stop, because this bastard had tried to king hit me and take me out without ever looking me in the eyes and shaping up.

Dramatic pause, as I go to bed.. A swing!.. to be continued....

2005-04-09T16:50:00.000+10:00

Roots Canada, huh? Well in aussie slang, that speaks to me like this: Fucks canada. Because roots is slang for naughty stuff!!! A typical australian girl would walk up to a guy say, in a supermarket, or pet store and say, hey you, fancy a root? And after most blokes stopped blushing they'd go, You are on ya bloody sheila!!!

2005-04-09T16:46:00.000+10:00

My Brother in law does not take it personally, that I outfished his arse for a period of 3-4 years, without him catching any fish. When we use to go out fishing together. No, not all. There was me for years, sending pics of all the fish, I had caught..

Then one day in my email box, this pic arrives.. Where he's holding up his fingers to suggest he finally caught one, he bloody caught one!!! His journey is now complete. For he is the barramundi catcher!

Then thats all I heard, was how great his fishing skills were.. The funny thing is/was/still. When Ever I've gone back to Mount Isa to catch up, do some fishing or chill out with the family. Vernon, becomes strangely disinterested in fishing. It would be easier at times for me to get blood out of a stone then for him to take me out fishing. Not like I made it too hard for him. I gave him my old boat and plenty of fishing rods, yet not once have we in the pass 3-4 years had a good day out fishing when I've gone back home... I wonder?

2005-04-09T16:43:00.000+10:00

My brother strikes the pose, to suggest he is not posing for this pic, by not posing, which really is just a pose anyway.. ha-hah!

2005-04-09T16:40:00.000+10:00

One of my english mates about to die, who I only met by mistakenly grabbing his arse on the dance floor when I was actually trying to grab the girl dancing beside him. Warning, never attempt this like that when a bit drunk. We became good mates for the next few weeks travelling. And no we are both hetrosexual men!! Well I know I am!!! what? Stop that!!!

2005-04-09T16:38:00.000+10:00

What I saw the day I was coming home from north london and the drinking contest with the irish man, where I down 8 pints of guinness in record time.. Classic!

2005-04-09T16:36:00.000+10:00

Got calfs? Sure do!! Thanks to climbing mount doom in NZ and 5-6 hills and mountains around the world in my around the world trips.

2005-04-09T16:35:00.000+10:00

Aunty!!! And Uncle Ray. Yes its just Aunty. Shes from manchester in the Uk.. You know the type. Very english, wants to conquer the world and make everyone play cricket.. Bloody english!! Ok, shes nothing like that. As for Uncle ray well, there was this one time in the outback of australia, where he and my dad discovered the lost city of gold and wait a dam minute. I think he must of mad that story up when I was a kid to fire my imagination. The other big git is myself.. Yes, the one ray is pointing at...

2005-04-09T16:31:00.000+10:00

My father back in his glory days.. Thats right, he was a rock and roll legend... Do-da-do-da-do-do-da-do-do-da.. oh wait, I mean in his own mind.. Sheesh.. not in the real world. But he had the look.

2005-04-09T16:28:00.000+10:00

Niagara Falls, just some little water fall in canada. Over head shot I took when flying out of new york into toronto. And a few pics of toronta and I mean toronta, instead of toronto. giddy up!!!!

2005-04-09T16:17:00.000+10:00

An American an Aussie in New York city. Eatting some local american custom super sugar,sweet tasting treat. It was like injecting pure cocaine into your system. Wait, not that I've ever had cocaine.. Happy-happy-sugar-rush-times

2005-04-09T16:13:00.000+10:00

Some stupid canadian bastard. Has a addiction for anything irish.. But, he's a funny bastard and a good friend. He's currently either somewhere in thailand or one the way home from thailand.

2005-04-09T16:10:00.000+10:00

Aussie and a American in London. Dean and heather, pose for a pic 2003. Yes, I know I am the pretty one and she hogged the camera shot.. bloody woman huh? Pfft!!!

2005-04-09T16:09:00.000+10:00

Charging up the hill in scotland, for SCOT-Land!! Seems I got a problem on my back!!!!

2005-04-09T16:08:00.000+10:00

Pics from My home town. Before going overseas A year or 2 ago. Pics contain, My old man, Sister, nephews,brother,brother-in-law and my old work place Mount Isa Mines. Can joo dig it? No, neither can I.

2005-04-09T16:02:00.000+10:00

Come on You SPURS!! Go Tottenham Hotspurs!!! HEY!!! Someone has to follow them.. Good 20 years man.. fuck, I need my head read!!

2005-04-09T16:01:00.000+10:00

Uncle Deano and Nephew Liam. On Mount Isa look out. Feeling the love of mount Isa. A place of such wonder and beauty. That people ask us, is this heaven and are you 2 angels? And we say nay, we are but men! This is Mount Isa, welcome to hell!!

2005-04-09T15:57:00.000+10:00

The last time I visited My brother in law in Mount Isa. I don't think he knew I was there. Man works hard! Very Hard! His trade is that of a hair dresser. Look at his locks, you don't get hair like that without knowing the secrets of hairdressing.

2005-04-09T15:53:00.000+10:00

She's the Queen of All dutchies on lake taupo. Shes dutch, She's from amsterdam, She a talker, a lover, a fighter, artist, painter and a chess player, too. Come to think.. But she burns toast and thats a flaw you can not let go. Oh yea and how can I forget, shes a dancer and kisser of women in night clubs. Girls be-fore-warned...Guys forget about it, she will eat you alive!!!

2005-04-09T15:48:00.000+10:00

Sailing in lake taupo, in central part of the North Island of Nz.. Do you need any more pics or info on NZ to not want to go there already?

2005-04-09T15:43:00.000+10:00

At the peak of Mount Doom. Tough? Cold? smelly? Bloody fantastic!!! Is all I could say. Come get some!

2005-04-09T15:41:00.000+10:00

Climbing Mount Doom, in NZ. Ok I forget the real name of this volcano-mountain. I was trying to view the region. And my french-canadian friend wanted to pat my head!

2005-04-09T15:37:00.000+10:00

The wonders of Wonders. Can you guess which part of Essex this is? You don't know where essex is? Well, I'm not from essex. I've just been there.

2005-04-09T15:33:00.000+10:00

Here I am expressing my Love for CollingWood Aussie rules football club. Outside their old ground, in melbourne as I came back into australia from Nz. Can you tell I love them alot? Go the brisbane lions!!! Go the Queensladners!!!

2005-04-09T15:30:00.000+10:00

My last Days in New Zealand. Back in the far north of NZ. Around the bay of islands. I think I'm saying, "can you smell the serenity?"

Glasglow Fist of fury..

2005-03-23T23:56:00.000+10:00

After touring around scotland, I wanted to spend some time in the fable rough city of glasglow, home to one of scotlands best comedians, Billy connolly. I didn't have much planned. I just wanted to make my way from edinburgh to glasglow and back again, without dieing. Well, thats what someone people would have you believe.

I jumped on the scotish train, which compared to the outback train service, I sorta only knew, seem like first class. Great seats, hell this train was the best I'd ever been on. And I wasn't the only one to think this. As I was sitting here thinking, have I got on the right train? 2 fellow aussie backpackers approached me and asked, mate pardon me. But is this first class? Can you tell us were normal class is for us? I laughed and said, I'm an aussie too and thats my exact thoughts. I suggest we just sit here till someone moves us on or kicks us off.. look like theres plenty of room for all of us. They moved off and sat and we all just waited to be moved to the cheap seats. But, in the end, it proved to be the standard level of train in scotland.

It took roughly 1 hour or so for the train to reach glasglow from edinburgh. I'd enjoyed edinburgh, had some really great nights in that city. I was expecting the same from glasglow. The train arrived at the main central station, I think in queens street in the middle of the city. I spent the first part of the day, doing normal sight seeing around glasglow. Hell, it was one of scotlands biggest cities so why not? Treat it like I was in new york or london and do a bus tour. Ok, ok.. it was very different, but thats what I liked about glasglow.

The 2nd part of My day was spent trying to score a stadium tour of glasglow rangers and celtic football grounds. But those were pretty much full for weeks and I didnt want to hang around that long. So, to kill some time I walked into the glasglow rangers shop and asked to purchase a glasglow celtic shirt. The only thing that saved me was the fact I australian and from the outback. They pointed me in the direction of the glasglow celtic shop. Which of course made me ask where could I buy a rangers shirt? Alot more dirty looks this time. But I got out alive.

So after courting danger, My return ticket back to edinburgh, was a non peek travel ticket. I got back to the main station at 6pm. So, I had to wait till 630pm to travel back to edinburgh and meet up with a few people for dinner and a few beers.

I stood out the back and ate a few bananas, cranked up my mp3 player and stood there minding my own business. Then this cranky looking, hip hop wearing white girl approached me. She was shouting/asking/telling me something, but my music was up so loud, I had no idea what she was asking me. I pulled out one ear plug and asked her, "whats up love?" It was almost like she was spitting back in my face. You got a fag? I laughed. Nope, I don't smoke. You put in alot of effort to find out I don't smoke.. but before I could finish my sentence she turned around in a huff and walked back into this group of white boys all dressed up too look like they were from east LA or bronx in new york.

story to be finished later,... sleep time for me.(ReTelling Of This story)

She returned back to the group of hip hop looking lads and they slowly started to walk off towards the back right from my position. On my left side coming down an alley way, was 2 young guys and girls. They were about 10-15 feet from me at this period. Not really paying much attention too them, I went back to listening to my music and waiting for the 630pm train.

I casually glanced over to the group of dudes and 1 chick, who were now 7oclock position from my spot. As my eyes connected with the group, I suddenly saw them break off in groups of one or twos,running off in different directions. I was puzzled, I pulled out one of my earphones and turned the music down a little. It was like I was watching a group of predators, breaking off to stalk something. As these thoughts were echoing through my head, I started to think, hmm. Could their target be, myself? I tighten my backpack to my shoulders.

As I looked back after adjusting my backpack, all that was standing there was the angry girl and 2 hiphop/gangster guys. It was then I realized the young group of 2 guys and girls had passed behind me and the hip hop posse approached. I saw a hand extended in friendship, something like, how are you going mate, in a very thick glaswegian accent. Suspecting they knew each other, I went back to minding my own bussiness.

Only 2-3 mins passed and I thought I heard harsh words being spoken. I looked up and tried to judge the body language, it all appeared to be ok. They were still shaking hands. Then I thought I heard the hiphop leader ask the younger guy, something like you owe me money or give me your money. Again, the scotish accent was so thick, it was hard to make out. As I was wondering what was really going down, the young guy, tried to break from the hiphop guys handshake. Which he could not. He was jumping up and down and trying to pull his hand away. Suddenly, the rest of the hiphop group sprang their ambush. Coming in from different directions to surround the young group.

Fist were flying, kicks, head butts. The 2 young girls ran off and I turned thinking fuck-in-hell. Stay out of this, these mother fuckers could have knives and you are on holidays. The 2 young guys, were holding off roughly 6 guys. Outsized and out numbered. These 2 young guys, just ran around as much as they could pushing, throwing punches and kicking. As for the first 30seconds passed, it became almost comical to myself. Growing up in a mining town in the outback of Queensland, Australia. I'd seen some fights and if you could not fight, you went down fast. All I could think of was this fight look like a scene from saturday night live and started laughing alot. No one could land a punch.

I lost view of the 2 younger girls and I watch the action of the fight. It appeared the larger group hiphop guys, must be heavy drug users, because I felt they should have taken out the 2 smaller younger guys quite easy. But there was conflict within myself to step in and I was tying my gear to the poll beside me. All around me older woman and men, start to yell stop this, leave them alone you thugs, crooks etc.. As I focused back on the fight which must of being going for all of 5 mins by this stage. One of the younger guys fell to the ground in front of me and 2 of the biggest lads, about 6 foot each and the angry mouth woman, jump on top of him and were about to start putting in the boot.

It was at this stage, I entered the fight! I charged forward grabbing the biggest guy and smashing over the angry woman to get to him. She went arse-up and hit the cold floor. Looking back in fear as I came through. I hit the big guy in the stomach and then on the back of the neck and he went down. I turned to the leader hiphop guy. He was looking up at me and as our eyes made contact, my face just spewed anger. I yell at him, "Go on, hit me cunt!!" He started to back away and I moved 2 paces towards him and he started to turn and run as the foul mouth woman was too, but with putting in alot of swearing at me. I looked down to the young guy on the floor who was slowly getting up, then the large guy I took down, was stirring and came up to me. I grabbed him and pushed him back to the floor. Then I heard more people yelling and I looked up to see about 4-5 cops running up the street straight to me. I stepped back and putt my hands up explaining what happen.

The cops told me to follow them and we chased after the rest of the group. I slowly walked with one of the coppers after I had grabbed my stuff and the 2 young guys, started telling them what happened. Then we headed up an alleyway, to follow the rest of the hiphop group who'd all run off. The cops caught about 3-4 members of the group. I'd been standing there givening my events of the fight. I was asked to come back the the train station police station. I was told tops of an hour to work this all out and be on my way.

As the story unfolded back in the police station, I gave my events of the story, I told them that I had been standing there minding my bussiness, untill the fight started, which I spent majority of the time, laughing at them as it was fairly crap fighting. They told me they would review it on cctv. It took over 2 hours to give them all my details and get the reports on the cctv, which confirmed what I had to say.

After finishing off my statement, I went out and met the 2 young guys, who I learnt were only 16 years of age. I told them, I'd offer to buy the a few drinks but learning their age, I'd have a few drinks for them. We all had a bit of a laugh. Talk with their parents for a small bit. By the time I was allowed to leave it was 1030pm. So much for returning to edinburgh and going out with a few people I had arranged with, that night.

By the time I got back to my hostel in edinburgh, it was 11.30-12pm at night. I walked in and had to sign in to get into the hostel. Due to their secruity measures. I then produced the police report and the canadian guy read it and said holy shit.. I said yeah. I had a full day today and even saw kill bill in glasglow as well.. What a day. Now I got to catch up with a few people, most likely missed them. I returned to my room, talked with a few mates and we had a few beers and I went to bed.

I woke up the next morning and when I entered the downstairs kitchen/chill out area alot of people started talking about my ransacking of glasglow. I was puzzled and said, my what? It was a case of having ten people in line and you tell one, one thing, then they tell the next another. By the time it gets to the end of the line, the stories changed so much. What was coming back to me, was half of glasglow had tried to kill me, so I beat the living crap out of them.. there was about 10 different versions. I just downplayed everything and said, I like glasglow. Its meant to be rough. And no, I didn't really fight anyone or get into a fight. I just came to a guys aid. The more I downplayed it the more people built the story up. I ended up just shaking my head and talking about the weather when ever it was brought up. I was only around for a few more days and then I headed off down the east coast of UK.

So, make sure to visit glasglow, when you are next in scotland. och aye!

The fanny pak chronicles

2005-03-23T12:04:00.000+10:00

A fanny pak? I can hear most of you non north americans saying, what the hell? You sick puppy! So whats is a fanny pak? Here is an example: Hmm? Now you know what I am talking about then we came move forward. In oz, we call them bum bags or packs.

My fanny pak chronicles start in 2002 in canada, when I was hiking with a few canadian friends. We had started the trip and the girls started talking about shoving things into the fanny paks or trying to stuff more things into the small fanny paks. I think the point where I first lost it and started laughing, was when one of the girls mention trying to fit in some bananas into her fanny pak and it WAS JUST TOO BIG to fit in her fanny. The 12 year old boy within myself, just burst out laughing, which made the girls pull a puzzled face. I manage to keep way from the subject, but they had noticed I was always pull a bit of a smirk, when they mentioned certain words.. and I finally gave in.. For the next 8 hours all I heard was putting this or that in their pussy bags! Because in australia, uk and NZ, fanny= vagina, pussy.. etc.. I think you get the idea right? And fanny in north america, is a cutesy name for bum/backside/bottom or arse!!! wait, I mean ass, for you americanos.

Now, I don't go out of my way to bring this story up time and time again with travellers or random people I meet. It takes a certain thing to trigger a tale. And this happen, in New york city. I had met a new york girl, by the name of heather in london and I had caught up with her again in NYC. It was an evening at her place, talking to her flat mate and her flatemates boyfriend. This was roughly 2003/2004. Heather asked me to tell a story or travel tale of mine, it hit me that there was 3 americans in the room and this would be a tale to tell them.

I began where it all started, middle of the 1990s, 1996 or 1997, roughly. On top of Mount Cootha. A city lookout in brisbane. I was up there with friends, having a nice lunch and a few drinks. I looked around at the 3 americans, heather and her friends listen with interest. You see, we had been filling our gobs with food and drink when a large tourist bus pulled up to the lookout. We could hear the accents miles away, it was a bus full of americans. We paid little attention to the bus, until this one women began to come off the bus. She was a very large african-american woman, As she got to the exit doors on the bus, she said out in a very loud southern american drawl accent, "I got such a saw FANNY, from sitting on that bus all day!" MY memory is a little bit hazzy now, But I wasnt sure if it was the food I was either spitting out or choking on or the beer that came out of my nose that nearly killed me or the very fact I was laughing so hard at the very same time in shock. Maybe it was all three, but if you can imagine, a group of people sitting at a table, talking, eatting, drinking, then hearing the above line and everyone just burst out laughing, in mid drinking or eatting. Food and beer went everywhere.

I remember turning towards this woman, even now I can see her just standing halfway in the bus doors looking at us half puzzled, half in embarrassed. Not knowing why suddenly a group of people sitting at a table near her, exploded in laughter, food and beer. I almost swear, she was going a shade of red. Then it hit me, she was american, african-american. And she may take things the wrong way, that we were being racist aussie bastards. Me and 2 mates, with food and beer all over our shirts and face, began to walk close to explain what she just said out aloud. Now can you imagine, being in another country having 3 guys approaching you, covered in food/beer and laughing nonstop, trying to explain the meaning of the word fanny in australan english compared to american english? As you can imagine, it didnt go down well, but she came to understand what we were trying to tell her. And in a huff she walked off.

Our lunch was ruined, it didn't seem to matter to our group. We just kept on laughing and then trying to tell each other it wasn't good form to keep laughing, which just brought out another round of tears and laughter. After I finished telling this tale to heather and her friends, her flatmate had got up and raced off to her room.. she came back with her very own fanny pak, she ran around the room saying she was putting this or that in her pussy bag or her pussy pack. I just shook my head and said, why did I even bring this up.. and started laughing.

After all the laughter had died down I finished off the fanny pak chronicle. I told of the story, of a las vegas comedian flying to australia in the 1950's or early 60's. To do one of the very first live national broadcasts on australian tv. Like most comedians, he used his day to day life as his show. Naturally enough, his wife was a good source of his jokes. He walked on stage and started his bit. Part way through, he was talking about the 30 hour flight from las vegas to australia. HE then got to the part where his wife was complaining about having to keep scratching her sore fanny, from sitting on it for that length of time. As you can imagine, the audience of that era was stunned, the tv hosts were stunned and the poor old american comedian was puzzled to their reaction. The show was pulled off air and the comedian was sent packing.

So ends The Fanny/fanny pack chronicles.

Good Deeds, that can come back to bite you.

2005-03-23T11:05:00.000+10:00

On my trip around da world, I constantly came across people posing for pics. You know the type, hell you might even be one of them. A family, a couple, lovers etc.. climb up a hill, pose in front of a castle or great scene, though one of the group peels off to take the pic of the rest and misses out of the group photo.

I'm a keen watcher of people, in these positions. I'm not studying people, though I look at how people react in situations. When I see something like this unfold, I usually speak up and suggest that I take the pic for that group or couple. Crack a joke about taking the camera and running or charge 20 pounds or when ever currency is the most expensive in that region.

My story starts in scotland, edinburgh. Near holyrood castle, on the large hill in the middle of that area that overlooks most of the city. Its a hell of a climb, ok you can take the easier route up. There are some tougher ways to do it. So, yes I took the tough way up and was quite buggered. I'd been up there most of the day, snapping pics left and right of the city and surround areas and just soaking it all in.

I begin to notice families and people taking pics of each other. But wat triggered me to react was this small family. A father, mother and their daughter. They had hiked up the large hill, Went to pose for the family pic, they looked around, for wat ever reason the father just took a pic of the mother and his daughter. I moved forward and suggested that the pic would be hell of a lot better with him in it as well. I then suggested for a small fee or 50 pounds It would be no problem. We all had a laugh and I took the pic for them. Which sorta made their day. After the deed was done, I said hey, us aussies like to help out once in awhile. Enjoy the view and picture.

Long story short, I ended up doing this for a few more families, girls, guys, couples etc.. But I remember the last pic I took that day. These 3-4 american girls studying at the local campus, had climb the hill and wanted to take pics. instead of having a group photo, one was going to take the pic. So I offered to get them all in a group photo and record their journey. It was a very nice expensive nikon digital camera, a little bit of bling, bling. I took the pic, we had a laugh, exchanged tales of travel, I was an aussie, they were american etc, etc.. I handed back her camera and half turning said have you got it? She said yes I have and I let go of the camera.. The next thing I heard was this very expensive camera landing on the many rocks around our feet. I pulled a funny face and just realized it went ba-da-boom. A little bit shocked, she explained she had it, but dropped it. From then on, I was always a little bit wary of offering to take pics. Just in case you met someone not so forgiving if the same thing happen. But you gotta do what you gotta do..

So, the next person camera I took the pic and just threw it off cliff.. what? Ok, I am just joking..

Dean.

Zoolander?

2005-03-08T12:42:00.000+10:00

Blue steel? Iron tiger? I like to call this one, 3 weeks non stop partying with average of 3 hours sleep a night look. Meanwhile, jan is overlooking my shoulder, thinking I'm a right nutter from essex.

2005-03-08T12:37:00.000+10:00

This Mount Isan, born and bred in Queensland, standing in from of the 2 sydney icons. Funny enough designed by non NSW people. The opera house by some danish or norwegian git and the sydney harbour bridge, designed by a QUEENSLANDER!!!!!!! Go da maroons!! A bit of local aussie shit stirring between states of Queensland and New south wales.

Kel and Zoey, Spiked my drinks, Got me drunk and then covered me in lipstick and painted my nails hot pink. Great People!! 2 thumbs up.

2005-02-27T22:47:00.000+10:00

Here is a group of People, That I will remember for some time. The main two are, Kel the blonde and zoey, the red haired one. Why? I got setup and blind roaring drunk by these 2. But, that wasn't enough. They covered me in lip stick and painted my nails hot pink. Theres more to this story and I should have the info up soon. But these girls inspired me to tour NZ and I ended up having a really great time in NZ.. great country:

But it doesnt end there with these 2 girls, Oh no.. When we had arrived in miami, then went on a bus ride to the local shopping centre, we ran into a transgender older man/woman. And zoey, being the friendly person she was, gave out my email address and contact details. I being the australian gentlemen I am, followed suit and gave him hers, what a friends for? Though, he wanted me to meet his daughter and go out for a date. I was scared, it would be him in high net stockings.. and declined. Btw, they are from shrewsbury.. so if you live there and happen upon this, and know these 2, the egg them for me!!!

And the guy is wayne, english lad. Great laff he was.. Kept me sane and pointed out to me in the morning I was covered in lipstick and really had a good laugh at me. Bastard.

Heres what I got up too in NZ:

http://users.bigpond.net.au/Augshome/DJtourNZMedQuality.wmv

2005-02-27T22:36:00.000+10:00

I met these 2 fine umm Posh birds, in scotland Edinburgh. On the dance floor, they told me they were posh 12 times in about 30mins. I told them, I really don't care, because I'm australian and they could be the Queen of siberia for all I care.. Then they told me they were posh again and I was like, right you 2 are from essex, right? No, sussex..

One of many Anna's, I met on travels...

2005-02-27T22:24:00.000+10:00

Anna Was another good person, who left a great memory. I met here in SCOT-Lund, errr I mean Scotland. We only knew each other briefly. She was a nanny. I can remember, I made her laugh alot. Hence her laughing in the picture. I think these pics are from the last time we saw each other. I went into her room, to abuse her and she was in such a laughing fit. I think due to coming up with this, Dean loves anna and his bananananannaaaaa. I remember laughing alot and wondering, dam people from new south wales, australia are weird.

It was the best sex Of.. Narr.. only joking, we were just laughing travel fools.

Travel friends: Marvin Another dutchie. Master of the Dolphin and the shark. Also riding the pony

2005-02-26T08:41:00.000+10:00

Marvin, friend, party animal and the man I learnt the ways of the shark and the dolphin. I bow too thy master. Always 2 there are, A master and an apprentice.

Little did I know how much of an impact marvin would make in my travels and the friendship, I would make with this dude from holland. It all started in Auckland, at the Auckland central backpackers. I'd been there maybe tops of 2 days longer then marvin. At the start he was pretty jet lagged, so I didn't really see much of him other then sleeping. So on my scaled of interest marvin wasn't scoring high, lets say.

But after he recovered, the stuff we both got involved into became stuff of legends. To many stories to point out. This dutchie was a funny bastards and a all round good guy.

Its partly because of him, my 3 days in auckland became 12 days. Some of the highlights was just the general mayhem we caused in the globe bar, the acb, and in and around auckland itself. This guy had something with the ladies. We could not walk down the street, without some chick smiling in his direction. The man had the scent of the animal.. and the ability to morph from a dolphin into a shark and back again.. He also liked to ride the pony.. mysterious coded language I am using, which may become clearer later on. I passed his teachings on to other lesser mortals..

While in auckland: One of the things we got up to was marvin showing me his digital vid camera. He kept handing it to me like I knew how to work it and read the manual. Which was all in dutch. It was his kind of joke. We took this camera to auckland university and filmed the campus. Then we pretended to be exchange students.. where we came from varied on how bad our accents sounded. One moment I was belgian, danish, swedish.. germen etc.. dependant how long I could stay in character for.. For marvin, he already had a freaky accent so, he just talked normally. We interviewed a few students about Auckland uni, asked them why they all spoke funny, why did they love fush and chups.Thats how Kiwi's pronouce fish and chips. Trust me, its true. How could they all live so close to australia and not all move there, because it was so much better? Why, when you went to the movies they asked for 12 fuffty, instead of 12 fifty, for entry into a movie? Of course we filmed all of this. It was cheap entertainment for us. We ended our tour of Auckland Uni, with me asking a parking attendent how sexy he looked in his uniform and did he get alot of female swedish backpackers hitting on him? I think he then called security and we bailed out of there asap.

We were the last to part from room 210, in the auckland central backpackers. He headed off on his quest and me on mine. It was by chance only a few days after I had met moniek in rotorua and at least 3 weeks since I'd last seen him. That I was walking through central rotorua. I got to a street corner, instead of walking straight to my normal internet cafe, I turned left. I had a sense I needed too. I walk another 30 feet. Stopped outside a shop, to hear a song I enjoyed listening too.. I was looking at the ground and as I slowly turned around I looked up slowly across the road. All I saw was this huge big white smile and my name being called out.. Then I saw it was marvin, Straight away my kidney and liver moaned. For they knew, that from this day forward, they were going to be abuse alot by beer. Random chance we bumped into each other again. We all then moved into the same backpackers and room. Then went about becoming infamous in rotorua.

Oh the story about marvin, me and an irishmen and 2 local rotorua girls is something to be told later.. But I can tell you.. Its a mad story that had me shaking my head and marvin in all sorts of trouble.

Till the next time.

Travel friends spot light. People Who made my journey, what it was.

2005-02-26T07:42:00.000+10:00

La Moniek: A dutch girl from amsterdam. I met her in Rotoura, NZ. How did I meet this crazy dutch young dutch woman? Well she was staying in my room. She walked in after midnight. I didn't know she was dutch, her english wasn't so good when she was tired. That didn't stop me taking the piss out of her. What she said next, went on to become a part of our travel folk law.

Being from Amsterdam, she claimed they were talkers, debaters.. thinkers.. This didn't stop me tearing into her.. and because she was thinking in dutch, then converting to english to keep up with my verbal assault, she got frustrated and fired back with: "No you, Shut the fuck up, BITCH!" I paused and then laughed so very hard! I'd never been called a bitch in my life.. Not only did it fire me up even more, I kinda like it.. I get energy from abuse.. Its another form of loving. But that phrase went on to be overused by our travel friends and everyone we met soon learnt of it..

Mad dancing star of many a disco/nightclub. The woman, who owned so many dances floors. Who, out danced so many others. The woman, for a bet, tried to kiss and out dance a woman off one dance floor, because of a mishap between me and this other woman. The star sign of a taurus. The bull and the leo.. Horns and claws.. We had many laughs and adventures together through NZ.. And one good one is this story:

IT was in taupo, I had one night to many out on pub crawls, parties and meeting people. Fantastic country and place to meet people. Anyway, I had little sleep over the course of the last few days and moniek, came into our dorm room to talk to me and anna. She asked us, if we would join her on a hike. I was a little surprized, a hike? It was the tongariro crossing, Mount Doom for you lord of the rings fans. It took her about 30mins to convince me. I was half mad, seeker of fame, fortune and adventure.. This was right up my alley. So I agreed, the bus picked us up at 630am. IT would be an 8 hour hike 18kms up and over a volcanic mountain aka mount doom.

A normal sane person would have said, right moniek I am off to bed see you in the morning. No, this crazy, stupid dumbarse of a party animal said, excuse me moniek, anna and laura I'm going out. I will be back and ready for the hike at 630am. Long story short, I got back to my dorm room at 330am. I got about 3 hours sleep. IT was very cold. I was hung over, tired and hadn't been eating right for days. NO veggies to give me energy.. but it was this challenge this test that called me..

I stagged out of bed and got ready, bought some food and water from a local 24 hourpetrol station. And then I waited for moniek to show up or the bus.. which ever came first was my thought. The bus arrived I boarded. I started to talk to the french canadian girl that was coming with moniek. Problem... moniek had dissappeared to get some throat drops. Did not make it back and the bus took off with out her.. I was puzzled, as we drove for about 40mins, I was thinking this was great. She got us all up for this and then missed the bus.. She better not miss that 2nd bus or I'm going to kick her arse!

Our bus was about 20 mins from tongariro crossing, when our bus got a call over the radio, that a girl from taupo backpackers, had made it onto the other bus, so don't worry, shes here. I looked around the bus and thought umm.. thats not our backpackers and the only person I know from there, was moniek. So I asked the driver, could you ask what does that girl look like... the drive talks to the other driver. Shes fairly tall, got black curly hair. "hmm I think" is she dutch? Yes it the answer. I then ask, is she sorta crazy looking? The driver asks and the reply is yea, a little bit. I cough, I ask the driver, ask if she double dutches!!!? HE asks the other driver and the reply back is.. he won't ask her that.. we both laugh. I then ask is her name moniek? Yes is the answer and I laugh and tell the other 3-4 people that yes, moniek made it. We'll wait for her, when we get off, they are 20mins behind us.

Moniek arrives and we all give her some stick for being late and missing our bus. Moniek begins to tell us the story of what actually happen. You see, she hitchhiked all over NZ. We all thought she was made. Nz is a fairly safe place, but still it pays not to take risks. Though her hitch hiking skills came in handy this time. Moniek told us, she got all us up for this. It was 630am, she was fully dressed and ready for the hike and she not miss out on this. So she flagged down cars and told the drive what had happen, this driver and her then chased down the 2nd bus and waved it down and she got onto the bus.. Of course the bus driver was pissed about this but she made it. And for wat ever reason, that impressed the lot of us.

We started the hike and I what I can remember 2 things from that hike about her was 1) She talked non stop about a certain subject. 2) She was buggered very quickly but it was a tough start and very cold...

Moniek, thumbs up too ya.. More to come on those I've got pics of that made my travel journey over the past year or more interesting.

San diego and the power of an accent..

2005-02-24T09:25:00.000+10:00

Now, there might be a few of you out there saying the exact same thing a few people have told me. In regards to alot of my stories. One, they usually involve me and a female. Well, Ok. I yield on that point. I was single when I took off on this trip. I was just out to have a good time. So naturally, a single guy, is going to have alot of encounters with women. Its just part and part of things. Theres a big difference, from meeting alot of women, then sleeping with alot of women. Plus, I like all my tales where I should have, could have but failed or didn't for some reason. Makes a more interesting story.

I got into san diego, within the first hour of being in this city, I knew I was going to love it. Wishing I hadn't washed a few more days in LA and came straight to SD. I checked into my lodgings. Booked the pub crawl asap and went out and explored. When I got back, the pub crawl was ready to rock and roll.

I discovered there was 3-4 aussies, a few irish, a few yanks and the rest were from the Uk. We hit the first few bars and things were going well. The rule of the pub crawl is simple. We hit pubs in their happy hour. Some good, some bad.. But when in rome. It was the 2nd or 3rd bar. A group of us guys, had loaded up on cheap drinks and knocking them down. I put myself in charge of finding out when we would be moving on to the next bar. Because none of us wanted to be caught with a few drinks and have to drink them all quickly.

Our tour leader, was a local girl from california, newly married. She was always outside smoking and chatting away with these 2 new york girls. Who didn't seem to interested in our group as a whole but had tagged along, I guess for a bit of fun. MY first time out to ask Susan, when we would be leaving, the 2 new york girls didn't even look in my direction. I asked her she told me 10-20 mins. I said, "fair enough" threw in a bit of small talk and headed back into the bar.

It was the 3rd time I headed out, From my point of view nothing had changed. I again went out to ask, when are we moving on?.. Again I was told 10-20 mins. A bit puzzled, as it been a good hour since I had asked her the first time. I had been a semi funny, semi charming bastard the first 2 times. And as I was about to walk away from susan, to head back into the bar. I'd notice the cute blonde new york girls reaction to myself, had changed. She smiled alot and followed me inside the bar.

I walked up to the group of english lads I had been drinking with, while looking back and noticing the New york girl following. As I stood there and started to drink my drink. She basicly, for lack of better words. Started purring right beside me. I was a little amused, I then turned to her and asked her, what had changed from the first 2 times i had gone out there till now? She smile and shrugged. My brain kicking into gear said, I know what it is.. I turned to the english lads and nodded.. they turned to listen. See before, I was just another guy, holding a beer, having a drink, to you. BUT NOW! Because I have an accent.. everythings changed! Suddenly, I have this exotic and mysterious look about me, the wind is blowing through my hair and my sports coat is half hanging off my shoulder.? She laugh and nodded!!! I just about spat my beer out all over the group of english lads. Who all started laughing.

So this sounds like where I tell you, Oh yea. My aussie accent got me laid!! Well dear readers.. Life isn't always that simple. Its not always what us men are about. Ok, 90% of the time, fair enough. She was purring, very interested. But it wasnt even 9pm. So, that was fair to early for me. I wanted to have some fun, just not the type of fun, right there and then. We hit this dive bar. As a group we were all having drinks. THe 2 new york girls and susan were doing shots. When from about 10-15 feet away, one of the aussie guys from melbourne, starts yelling, "you are so in!" at me! I was trying to be cool, I thought he was acting like a teenager. I turned, put up my hands pulled a face and shook my head. What I was doing, was saying to him. Be cool man. Its all good. Don't act like that. BUT how it came across to her, was eeeeew! I don't want to be with her!!! *vomit* weird face etc.. She spat her dummy stormed off to the dunny. Her friend, punches me in my arm and tells me I'm a dickhead. I try to explain what I was meaning and before I knew it.. My certain thing, was gone! Such is life. And I will end the story here. Of course theres a bit more to it.. but it just drags on.. Lets say, theres no comming back from there. So just walk on!

Life lesson 249 learned.

Deejay out.

2005-02-22T13:49:00.000+10:00

One of my 3 trips to New york city, I happen upon this guy. I can't remember when. But dear god. I could not stop laughing. But I did spend 280 bucks on some pick up lines and Well lets say, This is one content man. And that guy will be rich!!! rich I tell you!!! What? too much.. I had some caffine this morning.. pardon.

2005-02-22T13:43:00.000+10:00

I have a theory, some shirts can get you into trouble. I wore this one to manly beach and yes, it did. Whats wrong with a great white shark on ya front shirt.. people, people, no people.. why can't we all just get along.. think of the children!

Koala farming, is a true profession

2005-02-22T12:55:00.000+10:00

KFC, Koala fried Chunks of koala love. Nothings more tasty then baby back koala ribs. As You can see in my profile. I work for a koala farm. Its true! Trust me.. would I bullshit you? We go back years! What type of meat do you think is in burgers in australia? Its economical fact. Use local product. Gives it that exotic taste.

2005-02-22T12:40:00.000+10:00

Tottenham Hotspurs, English football club. I must be going mad, as I am really feeling alot of love for spurs, nowdays. Must be a new stage of life.

The mythology of Australians, In USA and Canada.

2005-02-22T11:47:00.000+10:00

There's one thing I've come to learn, in my travels. To be an australian, overseas is bloody triffic! Why? Well, it could be just me. But, I don't bloody think so. It's got to do alot with my accent and the folk/mythology behind australians in general.

Now, don't get me wrong, but in the uk. Theres so many fricken australians, we are pretty bloody common. So, brits tend to see alot of the backpacking australian crowd. Which usually is alot of people on the trip of their life, getting pissed, having fun. Looking for adventure, a laugh, life.. Hell, maybe even love. So, they are loud, painful and pissed. Exactly how most aussies in sydney and melbourne see all the british backpackers. Go down to bondi beach in sydney. You'll know what I'll mean.

But in the usa and canada, there is an massive amount of mixtures of people. Australians ain't so common. Or if they are, most americans will think they are english! Rule number 1, how to start a fight with most average australians. Call them english. I can't speak for my entire countrymen, but nothing else gets me to burr up faster, then being called a flamin pommy bastard! Pommy bastard? What the hell am I talking about? Aussie slang, means english.

ON my last trip through Canada and the USA. (luv canada due to the fact my dollars=canadian dollars) I came out with a small debt to pay, to one very famous australian or would that be infamous nowdays? Steve irwin, croc hunter! I owe him at least 30-40 pints of guinness. Normally I'd be in a pub, club, bar or travelling and some yank or canadian would approach me and hit me am I australian? I'd let them know for sure I am and they'd offer to buy me a beer. Guinness being my beer of choice, thats what I got.

This guy walks up to me.. goes you an aussie? I confirm his question. He points at me and goes steve irwin!!! I go, umm? Buy you a beer. I go, fair enough, how can I argue? Nod, say thanks and drink. Repeat!

I came to the understanding, that us aussie males are seen as very macho. Then when people find out I'm from the real bush, aka "the outback" I must go up a few more levels of machoness.. if theres such a bloody word. So I got treated very well, got to experience things I don't believe I would have with A) without being myself. B) being born and bred in mount isa, Qld. C) An australian!

I could go on.. but I need to have a break. I'll edit and add more later. Have a good one.

Travelling through the USA.

2005-02-22T11:15:00.000+10:00

This link contains the travel Story. And she was studying to become a doctor. I fear the american education system. But, I think is more to do with the power of the media in the USA and the constant 24/7 bombardment of ads and tv shows.

Amber in London.

2005-02-21T06:34:00.000+10:00

Zooming back to 2003, london. I ended up meeting a girl, from north sydney in london. Well she was in my dorm room to be exact. We got chatting and found out we were both on the same haggis bus tour and leaving on the same day. What were the odds of that, I may ask?

Once our site seeing was done, it came time to leave for the haggis bus tour. Amber, was tall very skinny aussie girl. A hairdresser by trade, she came to london with everything and the bloody kitchen sink. I kid you not. When it came time to go to our haggis bus, we made the choice to take the underground. Thinking it would be easier and cheaper for us, compared to a black taxi. Our first mistake, which we learnt, when we came back to london. Would have cost us a total of 8 pounds and a lot less hassle.

One thing alot of aussies had problem with in england, was dressing for the weather. I was from tropical australia. I didn't really have the clothing for the environment, though I thought I did. So we all overdressed, when we got inside a place or the underground we started to all sweat to the bone. Due to central heating.

So getting back to my story, Amber and I dragged her numerious amount of bags and mine towards the underground to catch our subway to the haggis bus pick up point. Thinking its not going to be a problem at all. WE huffed and puffed, climbing up and down stairs. She was struggling with her gear, so as the bloody outback gentleman I was, I offered to carry as much of hers, as I could. Another mistake, lol. The first setback was her backpack straps broke.. Bang.. then another bag. I was thinking, she needed to sort out her shit..

We both overdressed in warm clothes. Once we hit the subway, carrying all the bags. Boy did we both start to sweat. It was fairly warm in the underground. We made it too the train and threw on our gear. As I was standing there checking all our bags.. Alot of new people boarded the train. I turned around to see amber pale white face, sweat pouring down it and her eyes rolling into the back of her head! I quickly grabbed her and started to strip her jackets off her. A few people looked at me funny. As I just suddenly turned around and began to rip clothes off this woman.. I realized their reactions and said I know her shes not too well. I got a few of her jackets off.. and sat her down.. LOL.. There was not much more I could do. It took her a few hours to recover..

What simply happen, She was about to pass out, I turned around and just caught her before she fell. But I could tell, how it appeared. Strange guy, Turns around and just attacks a girl and rips off her clothes! We laughed about this for a few days. What surprized us, that no one really, double checked to make sure I was telling the truth.. Guess life in the big city. I could have been a very bad man, a very bad man!!!

Kiwi bus experience.

2005-02-18T10:26:00.000+10:00

Latest story ONLINE

Its a bit rough, but then all my stories are.

The day I was lost for words.
Another kiwi adventure.

Naughty New Zealand travel story.

2005-02-14T06:49:00.000+10:00

Warning, this story is adult in nature. Its when I met An female english backpacker, by the name of jess. Not overly graphic but I'd just give you reason to not click the link.. But if ya curious have a gander.. You'll laugh and shake ya head. Its all true I swear to the gods!

The tale of Jess, sexy good looking english backpacker from the farside.

The Cockerel- Tottenham hotspurs supporters bar.

2005-02-11T19:44:00.000+10:00

The cockerel. The Spurs supporters bar where I met the craaaazy irish man and we had my infamous 8 pints of guinness drinking contest. To be sure, to be sure. What? I had to say that!

Link to the infamous story of that day.

Not to be outdone. After I was scouting out the place, I was asked by a local would I be attending the game on the weekend. I said, "If you mean spurs vs everton? Then I am there mate." What time are you coming down to the ground I was asked by this guy? I told him game starts at 3pm, I think 130pm wouldn't be a bad time to turn up. He told me, nar come down at 10am. I was thinking, I'm not getting shitfaced before my first live spurs game. He said no, we wil fight the everton fans. Its all hush, hush now days. All done by mobile phones. You look like you could handle ya self in a fight, fancy it? I told him mate, "just starting my around the world trip." "If this was the end of it, no problem but to early at the start to risk getting messed up." "But thanks for the offer. I'll just watch the game like the regular people."

I still remember game day, I had on my spurs hat, scarf. Rocked up out of the underground and headed over to tescos. Bought some food, because no doubt food and drink inside the ground would cost a friggin fortune. As I was walking around tescos (supermarket) I noticed alot of people starring at me. I was thinking, Plz don't tell me they hate spurs? But it was all good, bunch of danish looking for the ground. I pointed them in the right direction and off they went. As I walked out into the street to catch a bus to the ground, Which all of them were so over full it was not funny. I was asked by a group of everton supporters for directions to the ground. I coughed and then told them the direction to the ground. What bus to take and other ways to reach there. I then cracked a joke and told these guys I've only been in your country a few days and here I am giving you english lads directions in ya capital! They all had a laugh. I didn't and smacked their heads in!!! Then put in the boot to teach them, you don't mess with an aussies spurs supporter!! Now, I just added those 2-3 lines of abuse, just to see if anyone is actually reading.. OF course that didn't happen. I used a baseball bat instead. Less messy on the hands.

Tottenham Hotspurs. We're Crap, but we still look good.

2005-02-11T19:20:00.000+10:00

TottenHam Hotspurs. Followed these guys since the age of 8-10 years old. Why? Well when you areof that age and hear the name, tottenham hotspurs. Thats a very cool name. I was sorta drawn to the name and learnt the team was known to be creative and have some flair. Spurs were semi good, semi crap, back in those days. Little did I know, that the team would go on to have a mini golden era. Well compare to how they've played in the 90s till now, it was.

This game you see above was, Spurs vs everton. My brothers team is everton and I knew I had to see it live in london. I was feeling a 5-0 win to us and told my brother so. The score at the end of 90mins was spurs 3 everton 0. Fantastic!! Took that as an omen to the rest of my around the world trip.

Spurs rivals are Arsenal. The last derby match was a fantastic affair. I missed 89mins of the game, to walk into the pub, just seeing the huge screen on a angle. All I could see was spurs 4 arsenal 0, from all appearances. I raced closer to the screen with my spurs scarf flying, to suddenly see the arsenal score was not 0 but 5. The game ended tottenham 5 arsenal 6, or was it spurs 4 arsenal 5? One of those too.. But I laugh and was gutted at the same time. Glorious mess with my head!

Tottenham hotspurs current standings:

Spurs Home page

Winters chill in canada..

2005-02-09T19:46:00.000+10:00

Here I was in canada, toronto to be exact, spending some time with family. The early days of what I consider winter started to kick in. Here was this tropical Queenslander, who's used to 8 months worth of summer a year. When my winters can sometimes get cold, but usually they are roughly 20c in the day and 5-10c over night. Not so bad when you compare it to the rest of the world.

I woke up this morning at about 9am, My uncle and aunt had both shot off to work. I slowly got out of bed and helped myself to breakfeast. Munching away about 10mins into my fine prepare breaky as us aussie would say. I get a phone call. Its my aunt, she tells me that she left an important document outside, out the back of the house.

Now, to paint the picture of exactly what I was wearing. t-shirt and shorts. It was a nice 25c inside the house, thanks to the climate control. So you can imagine what happen next. Half dazed and sleepy, I listen to my aunt, who I really not once thought capable to play a joke on myself. So I nod on the phone like she can see me and I open the back door and start searching. Meanwhile, shes on the phone directiing to where this item can be found.. I keep saying no, its not there either.. Meanwhile, I'm freezing my arse.. 10mins goes by and somehow I'm out in the middle of the back yard in my shorts and t-shirt in -2c degrees. My aunt, who I feel butter wouldn't melt in her mouth, then asks me, what am I wearing. I tell her " t-shirt and shorts" shes then asks me whats the coldest I've ever been in outside in t-shirt and shorts. I said I don't know, but this has to be the closest too it right now.. She begins to laugh and tells me, its roughly -2 degrees and that now I can tell everyone that I've experenced some cold. Then she hangs up. Leaving me high and dry freezing out in the back yard with a shock expression on face thinking, wtf!! I've just been set up.. racing back inside and calling her work number and only getting voice mail. My friends I was played a fool that day. But, it made me laugh. It also made me think, I could never trust my Aunty again!!!