The very first mad thing to happen to me on my around the world trip 2003/2004.
My wee adventuring tale, Dean and the irishman, drinking contest. London 2003 sept. It was a fine grand old day in london town. A wee bit chilly for this Northern tropical australian. Something he's just not use to. But as billy connely would say, you're not dressing correctly for the weather..Its just a matter of the right clothing. Throwing on a smart sports coat and trusty pair of jeans and sneakers, which I call the jerry seinfeld look. I headed out to north london. Home of my beloved Tottenham hotspurs. An english soccer club, with a great history, though not living up too it currently. Most people will have heard of arsenal, tottenhams greatests rivals and manchester utd. Again I am digressing here.
After wandering around north london and checking out spurs soccer stadium.. realizing most of the area was lower income class and cheap land value, being offered a few tricks by the local ladies of the street and rejecting them, I learnt of the cockriel. The spurs supporters bar. Tottenhams, symbol is that of the cockriel. I headed into the bar, chatting with a few locals sitting around chilling out. They were surprized to met an aussie from the real "outback" who'd supported spurs for over 20 years. It was strange for them, that someone from so far had traveled to met his beloved team. I interrupted their little dream with, steady on.. I havent come all this way just for spurs. But while I am here of course i'll check them out.
Jumping ahead, at the end of the bar to my left was a irishman, who wanted to have a wee drinking contest, with little old me. I looked him up and down and said, ok. But, here is the jist of it. I haven't drank in 8 months. I'm up for it. Just don't put my country on my back, alright? I'll give you a go for ya money mate. I have at thee!!! I HAVE AT THEE!! Getting all dramtic. The irishman looked me up and down, then said.. thats not how it happen, you made that last bit up! *cough* what, huh? wooops.. sssh, its calling being dramatic.. Anyway, cutting to the chase. 8 pints of guinness had flown down each of our mouths. He looked at me, I at him. He turned, with a look of, this could be an expensive night. He asked me, you up for more aussie? Feeling ok at this point said, yes mate. Strangly, I'm not feeling any ill effects. So, I'll just got to the dunny to empty the bladder and we'll go for it again. The irishman, lets call him paddy for story sake, nods and goes ok then. This is where things get a little nuts. 10mins goes by, paddy turns to me and goes, Ain't you going to the dunny? I said, I am mate I am. I just have one problem. He said, whats that? Well, you see. I can't uncross my bloody legs. Paddy, looking down to my legs, notices the upper muscles in my legs twitching but nothing is moving.. has a bit of a laugh and asks me, am I ok? 5 more mins passes and finally I get my legs uncrossed. Now this is where you readers need to have some imagnation. I ended up walking like the puppets from thunderbirds, towards the tiolet. As soon as I stood up, everything just rushed to my head. After I had finished my business in the tiolet, I came back too the bar, and gave in. But before I left, paddy turned to me and said, word of advice aussie. Laughing, I said yeah? Paddy smiled, never take on an unemployed irish bricklayer, you'll loose everytime. I laughed out aloud and said, mate I'll write that down and double check when ever I get to do this again.
Heading home also ended up being an adventure. I feel thats best left for another day. I got home to my place of stay to find the a beautiful woman, still waiting up for me and wanting to go out for dinner. I looked at her and just said, sorry love. I've been out all day, got into adrinking contest and well lets say. This aussie cowboys going to be sleeping it off.. Life is an adventure! PS: never trust the irish and just about passed out on the chair beside her.
After wandering around north london and checking out spurs soccer stadium.. realizing most of the area was lower income class and cheap land value, being offered a few tricks by the local ladies of the street and rejecting them, I learnt of the cockriel. The spurs supporters bar. Tottenhams, symbol is that of the cockriel. I headed into the bar, chatting with a few locals sitting around chilling out. They were surprized to met an aussie from the real "outback" who'd supported spurs for over 20 years. It was strange for them, that someone from so far had traveled to met his beloved team. I interrupted their little dream with, steady on.. I havent come all this way just for spurs. But while I am here of course i'll check them out.
Jumping ahead, at the end of the bar to my left was a irishman, who wanted to have a wee drinking contest, with little old me. I looked him up and down and said, ok. But, here is the jist of it. I haven't drank in 8 months. I'm up for it. Just don't put my country on my back, alright? I'll give you a go for ya money mate. I have at thee!!! I HAVE AT THEE!! Getting all dramtic. The irishman looked me up and down, then said.. thats not how it happen, you made that last bit up! *cough* what, huh? wooops.. sssh, its calling being dramatic.. Anyway, cutting to the chase. 8 pints of guinness had flown down each of our mouths. He looked at me, I at him. He turned, with a look of, this could be an expensive night. He asked me, you up for more aussie? Feeling ok at this point said, yes mate. Strangly, I'm not feeling any ill effects. So, I'll just got to the dunny to empty the bladder and we'll go for it again. The irishman, lets call him paddy for story sake, nods and goes ok then. This is where things get a little nuts. 10mins goes by, paddy turns to me and goes, Ain't you going to the dunny? I said, I am mate I am. I just have one problem. He said, whats that? Well, you see. I can't uncross my bloody legs. Paddy, looking down to my legs, notices the upper muscles in my legs twitching but nothing is moving.. has a bit of a laugh and asks me, am I ok? 5 more mins passes and finally I get my legs uncrossed. Now this is where you readers need to have some imagnation. I ended up walking like the puppets from thunderbirds, towards the tiolet. As soon as I stood up, everything just rushed to my head. After I had finished my business in the tiolet, I came back too the bar, and gave in. But before I left, paddy turned to me and said, word of advice aussie. Laughing, I said yeah? Paddy smiled, never take on an unemployed irish bricklayer, you'll loose everytime. I laughed out aloud and said, mate I'll write that down and double check when ever I get to do this again.
Heading home also ended up being an adventure. I feel thats best left for another day. I got home to my place of stay to find the a beautiful woman, still waiting up for me and wanting to go out for dinner. I looked at her and just said, sorry love. I've been out all day, got into adrinking contest and well lets say. This aussie cowboys going to be sleeping it off.. Life is an adventure! PS: never trust the irish and just about passed out on the chair beside her.
posted by KoalaFarmer @ 5:50 pm
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