Koala Farmer? Like What the?!?!
Let me start, where most stores begin.. yes I was butt naked, drunk, smeared in vegemite and... Ok, joking there, just pulling your leg. It was 3 days into my around the world trip, which I had started in Sept 2003. It involved a Very attractive woman from New york (doesn't it always?), who I had seen around the piccadilly hotel I was staying at. I'd noticed her but never had a chance to talk with her.
As I said above, it been 3 days into my trip and I thought I better check my emails and let family/friends know I am alive and made it here with no problems.
So Here I was sitting in a cyber cafe, just up the road, coughing at the cost in aussies dollars converting from british pounds, using the net. As I logged into my hotmail account and was watching the hour glass icon twirling.. And watching my internet mins ticking down.. I heard the door open, I was to focused on logging into the computer, but the reaction of the 3 guys to my left made me raise my eyes. I saw them all turn and look. So naturally I too, looked up too see what had their attention. It was the New york girl, from my hotel. We made eye contact, well I was just staring at her, in a daze. When all of a sudden she cheekily poked her tongue out at me. A bit stunned, I said oie! we both laughed and I went back to watching my hourglass icon twirling.. I was thinking to myself, what the bugger? Have I got the slowest computer in london?
It must of been all of 5 mins in total, but it felt a hell of alot longer, when I suddenly heard the new york girl, typing at a million miles an hour. I turned around and saw she had already logged in and was writing emails away furiously. I said to her, hey don't show off to much, some of us are still waiting to log in.. Ive been here 10mins.. this was the ice breaker and we started talking.. Well to be more honest, I was most likely talking so much funny BS to her she couldnt keep from laughin.. think funny harassment..
In the middle of shit stirring back and forth, she leaned over and asked me what I did for a living? My brain kicked into gear, Aussie, london, beer, computer.. none of those are any good, suddenly it just flashed into my brain. I gave it a dramatic pause, looked up, cleared my throat and lowered my voice and really put on the aussie twang, "Well you see", I said. "I'd be a koala farmer". She almost burst out laughing, but quickly got it back under control. She said is that right? I said oh yea! I paused for a few, thinking ok, ok.. what do I say? Don't appear to eager, just be casual. So I said, what do you do for a living then? Appearing to be real busy reading and writing my personal emails. It seems the whole net cafe was listening in on our conversation. She said aloud, I'm a prostitute, an escort girl. I just about choked on my own tongue, she was laughing, but the shocked facial expressions of the people eve's dropping into our talk, also made me just about loose it. My brain kicked into gear, ok, how the hell do I come back with anything against that? I said to myself.. again, slow it down, slow-it-down. Well you know what that means then? I fired off.. She looked up and over, what? Well with my koala farming skills and all my koala farms & koala dairy and your natural sales ability, being a lady of the night, we'll have to get together, because we'll make millions if not billions together! Its all there. Before I could get anything else out, people all around us started laughing their arses off.
A several months later, we'd had made plans to catch up in new york, when I flew out of ireland. I ended up meeting as you can imagine, alot of americans in a short space of time, in new york (Shock huh?). Not wanting to speak to much BS all the time, I actually wanted to talk about what I had done for a living...that was I worked in the mining industry, My home town being Mount Isa, which is a mining town. But because of my aussie accent, the way I said mining and how it sounded to most americans was different.
As you can imagine, when you travel around the world, you can meet alot of different people, from alot of different backgrounds. Who will work in alot of different fields, from yourself. When I was passing through the USA, I was constantly asked, what industry did I work in, before my trip? I can remember it clearly. Some random american asking, so Dean, what industry do you work in? I would simply look over too them and say, I grew up in a mining town, I work in the mining industry. They would give me a puzzled look, miming industry? It was my turn to give a funny look, "No, the M-I-N-I-N-G industry." "Not Miming!!!" American local "You're mime?" Learning accents can be painful, I tried again. "No mines! Like minerals, copper, lead, zinc, silver, gold.. coal? get it? digging underground etc?" American local, "so you ain't a mime artist, then?" Giving up and not wanting to invest the time and effort in adapting my accent for the 4-5 time this happened. I simply started to say, "Well, you see I'm a koala farmer" American mouth would drop, "like woah, really?" I'd clear my throat and say " yea, its a bloodly tough job, but someone has to do it." Those koalas sleep 20 odd hours a day and you need someone, to give them a poke with a stick, just to make sure their alive." numerous americans, english, other nationals would listen on in interest. As I traveled across the world in 2003. I began to add a little extra to it each time. So eventfully, it was something like this, Yes, The names Dean, I'm a koala farmer. Yes, you heard me right. Great job, you get to make sure the koalas wake up every 20 odd hours like they are meant too. which is all good. My future plans are to go into koala dairy. Though I am finding I'm having a hard time at it.. because milking the koalas with my big fingers and hands is slow going. They've only got small teets. I hope they invent a machine to do it soon. Gourmet koala milk, theres nothing better.
Like everything, its how you say it and deliver it. Its something I began to enjoy in the USA. With my accent and a bit of wit and humour, I could get away with murder. Many a guy travelling with me would say, how the hell can you say that and not make people get upset? I'd look over too them and say, I think its all about having an accent and just the way you say it too. God knows, if i said this stuff back home, people would try to knock my block off..
Travelling, it broadens the mind, or maybe you just drink to dam much and you think it does.. Have a good day.
As I said above, it been 3 days into my trip and I thought I better check my emails and let family/friends know I am alive and made it here with no problems.
So Here I was sitting in a cyber cafe, just up the road, coughing at the cost in aussies dollars converting from british pounds, using the net. As I logged into my hotmail account and was watching the hour glass icon twirling.. And watching my internet mins ticking down.. I heard the door open, I was to focused on logging into the computer, but the reaction of the 3 guys to my left made me raise my eyes. I saw them all turn and look. So naturally I too, looked up too see what had their attention. It was the New york girl, from my hotel. We made eye contact, well I was just staring at her, in a daze. When all of a sudden she cheekily poked her tongue out at me. A bit stunned, I said oie! we both laughed and I went back to watching my hourglass icon twirling.. I was thinking to myself, what the bugger? Have I got the slowest computer in london?
It must of been all of 5 mins in total, but it felt a hell of alot longer, when I suddenly heard the new york girl, typing at a million miles an hour. I turned around and saw she had already logged in and was writing emails away furiously. I said to her, hey don't show off to much, some of us are still waiting to log in.. Ive been here 10mins.. this was the ice breaker and we started talking.. Well to be more honest, I was most likely talking so much funny BS to her she couldnt keep from laughin.. think funny harassment..
In the middle of shit stirring back and forth, she leaned over and asked me what I did for a living? My brain kicked into gear, Aussie, london, beer, computer.. none of those are any good, suddenly it just flashed into my brain. I gave it a dramatic pause, looked up, cleared my throat and lowered my voice and really put on the aussie twang, "Well you see", I said. "I'd be a koala farmer". She almost burst out laughing, but quickly got it back under control. She said is that right? I said oh yea! I paused for a few, thinking ok, ok.. what do I say? Don't appear to eager, just be casual. So I said, what do you do for a living then? Appearing to be real busy reading and writing my personal emails. It seems the whole net cafe was listening in on our conversation. She said aloud, I'm a prostitute, an escort girl. I just about choked on my own tongue, she was laughing, but the shocked facial expressions of the people eve's dropping into our talk, also made me just about loose it. My brain kicked into gear, ok, how the hell do I come back with anything against that? I said to myself.. again, slow it down, slow-it-down. Well you know what that means then? I fired off.. She looked up and over, what? Well with my koala farming skills and all my koala farms & koala dairy and your natural sales ability, being a lady of the night, we'll have to get together, because we'll make millions if not billions together! Its all there. Before I could get anything else out, people all around us started laughing their arses off.
A several months later, we'd had made plans to catch up in new york, when I flew out of ireland. I ended up meeting as you can imagine, alot of americans in a short space of time, in new york (Shock huh?). Not wanting to speak to much BS all the time, I actually wanted to talk about what I had done for a living...that was I worked in the mining industry, My home town being Mount Isa, which is a mining town. But because of my aussie accent, the way I said mining and how it sounded to most americans was different.
As you can imagine, when you travel around the world, you can meet alot of different people, from alot of different backgrounds. Who will work in alot of different fields, from yourself. When I was passing through the USA, I was constantly asked, what industry did I work in, before my trip? I can remember it clearly. Some random american asking, so Dean, what industry do you work in? I would simply look over too them and say, I grew up in a mining town, I work in the mining industry. They would give me a puzzled look, miming industry? It was my turn to give a funny look, "No, the M-I-N-I-N-G industry." "Not Miming!!!" American local "You're mime?" Learning accents can be painful, I tried again. "No mines! Like minerals, copper, lead, zinc, silver, gold.. coal? get it? digging underground etc?" American local, "so you ain't a mime artist, then?" Giving up and not wanting to invest the time and effort in adapting my accent for the 4-5 time this happened. I simply started to say, "Well, you see I'm a koala farmer" American mouth would drop, "like woah, really?" I'd clear my throat and say " yea, its a bloodly tough job, but someone has to do it." Those koalas sleep 20 odd hours a day and you need someone, to give them a poke with a stick, just to make sure their alive." numerous americans, english, other nationals would listen on in interest. As I traveled across the world in 2003. I began to add a little extra to it each time. So eventfully, it was something like this, Yes, The names Dean, I'm a koala farmer. Yes, you heard me right. Great job, you get to make sure the koalas wake up every 20 odd hours like they are meant too. which is all good. My future plans are to go into koala dairy. Though I am finding I'm having a hard time at it.. because milking the koalas with my big fingers and hands is slow going. They've only got small teets. I hope they invent a machine to do it soon. Gourmet koala milk, theres nothing better.
Like everything, its how you say it and deliver it. Its something I began to enjoy in the USA. With my accent and a bit of wit and humour, I could get away with murder. Many a guy travelling with me would say, how the hell can you say that and not make people get upset? I'd look over too them and say, I think its all about having an accent and just the way you say it too. God knows, if i said this stuff back home, people would try to knock my block off..
Travelling, it broadens the mind, or maybe you just drink to dam much and you think it does.. Have a good day.
posted by KoalaFarmer @ 5:24 am
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