A 3 part Romantic comedy story..

This story has a couple of parts too it. The background to this part of the story is this. I by chance met an american woman in london. NO, she was not a werewolf! I checked, anyway that said and done. We got on pretty well and had made arrangements to meet up in new york, as you do. Its all good fun.

I had been travelling for a fair while and the hair when it gets long, curls like a bugger.. I mean it really curls. Which the girls love.. I DON'T! Anyway, I landed in new york and gave her call. I was nervous, jetlagged and suffering from a some sorta super flu I'd picked up in the scotish highlands a month or more ago. I sensed she was a bit nervous too. Naturally so, for 2 complete strangers meeting up who'd briefly met in london.

I arranged to meet her after work the next day around 5pm, at 5th and maddison. So that all sorted, I spent that day touring around parts of new york I had not seen before. It was then I struck the brilliant idea to get a hair cut. Now, for an aussie travelling with australian dollars, when you take a figure and add 30-40% more too see it in your currency, that hurts. Walking around manhattan, I saw prices range from 18-35 usa dollars a hair cut. Wee but pricey but bugger it I am going to have to go with that.

I found the place at grand central station, I walked in, was asked do I have a an appointment? I told them no, do I need one? I was told no, sit down and this porta rician woman started to cut my hair. I saw a pic of her son, I presume on the mirror and tried to make small talk and also discuss what I wanted done with my hair.. this conversation didn't go well.

I didn't understand 80% of what she said and I bet she had the same problem with my accent. I told her to take off about 4-5 cms or an inch or so and neatin up my haircut. She nodded like she understood, she was cuting away nicely, I'd given up talking, as she seem not to respond in any manner I could understand. Suddenly, she starts up the clippers, I looked questionly at it, thinking maybe shes going to trim the fuzz on the back of my neck?

As I sit there, time slows down and she just pushes the clippers into the side of my head giving me a landing strip right down the right side. I yell out what the hell?? Half jumping and looking back at her. She said something and seemed a little dazed by my reaction. I told her using my fingers, I only want this much off (1 inch) not get a crew cut. She tells me she'll sort it out. I look around and various people are looking at me. I'm thinking only to me this could happen.

So she starts cutting and trimming, hair is falling off everwhere. ( I do have a pic of this aftermath and I may post it later. lol) The clippers start up again, I sit there stunned. I realize I look like i'm joining the marines! I turn to her and go what have you done? Fix it? You've given me a buzz cut!! She looks me straight in the eyes and tells me I needed it! I shake my head laughing, what the!! Wheres the manager.. I start talking to this guy saying I want this for free or nothing.. he tells me half price and we haggle for a bit, I tell him no don't worry about it. I'll pay full. As I walk to the till, she asks me for 19 bucks. I hand her 19 bucks and 2 1 dollar notes as a tip and tell her so. She throws them back saying no thats enough! I pick up the cash and say, no these are for you. Because if you keep cutting peoples haircuts like this you'll be out of a job. So, heres my tip merry christmas.

I walked out of the barbers shop and down the hallway, seeing myself in all the glass mirrors. With a buzz cut and feeling the cold air on my now bald scalp. I think to myself, well there goes all my confidence in meeting this woman! I'll just have to tell her what happen and make a few jokes and turn this into another of my travel tales. But why dear god did this have to happen to me of all days? When I turned up at new york girls work place, I walked in very nervous and bit concerned about the buzz cut, as I walked in she rose from behind her desk saying, Dean! And came over and gave me a hug! She said, what have you done to all your curls? Looks like you are joining the marines?! I laughed and said, wait till you here the story. She laugh and we both headed out with me finishing telling her the mishap at the barbers shop. I know theres a god and he likes to make life interesting!

The funny thing as I travel through the usa, wether I be at an airport sitting waiting for my plane or at a transit centre. About 5 times people approached me and asked did I just finish my tour of duty or am I rotating off? We had small talk before that and I thought I didnt sound american what so ever. I told them, no I'm australian on an around the world trip.. etc.. Now thats a bloody good hair cut!

A back at home, pose in front of my car pic. Notice how I smile with much affection.. Its an outback macho thing.

Levi,Me,Freddy and little helen. 2 englishmen, An Aussie and a welsh lass. Now, we were off to a all blacks vs england rugby union match. Ok, I wore australian stuff. So I really stood out and I cheered for australia even though they were not playing, but I can't cheer for england and I can't cheer for New zealand!!

Haggis Bus tour UK/SCOT-Land! Hoots toots.. och aye! You can't miss a big yellow bus can ya?

Well, With the same last name you think they let me stay free for one night?.. Oh no.. forget about that!! Bloody cheap buggers, I'm family!!

Its been a long trip through North England and Scotland, you stop at a pub and want to take a natural pic of everyone enjoying themself, But theres always one.. Cheers to this sydney bugger!!

I just don't want to know, what, when or how, some things a sometimes best left unsaid.

A wee travel tale.

As you can imagine, when you travel around the world, you can meet alot of different people, from alot of different backgrounds. Who will work in alot of different fields, from yourself. When I was passing through the USA, I was constantly asked, what industry did I work in, before my trip? I can remember it clearly. Some random american asking, so Dean, what industry do you work in? I would simply look over too them and say, I grew up in a mining town, I work in the mining industry. They would give me a puzzled look, miming industry? It was my turn to give a funny look, "No, the M-I-N-I-N-G industry." "Not Miming!!!" American local "You're mime?" Learning accents can be painful, I tried again. "No mines! Like minerals, copper, lead, zinc, silver, gold.. coal? get it? digging underground etc?" American local, "so you ain't a mime artist, then?" Giving up and not wanting to invest the time and effort in adapting my accent for the 4-5 time this happened. I simply started to say, "Well, you see I'm a koala farmer" American mouth would drop, "like woah, really?" I'd clear my throat and say " yea, its a bloodly tough job, but someone has to do it." Those koalas sleep 20 odd hours a day and you need someone, to give them a poke with a stick, just to make sure their alive." numerous americans, english, other nationals would listen on in interest. As I traveled across the world in 2003. I began to add a little extra to it each time. So eventfully, it was something like this, Yes, The names Dean, I'm a koala farmer. Yes, you heard me right. Great job, you get to make sure the koalas wake up every 20 odd hours like they are meant too. which is all good. My future plans are to go into koala dairy. Though I am finding I'm having a hard time at it.. because milking the koalas with my big fingers and hands is slow going. They've only got small teets. I hope they invent a machine to do it soon. Gourmet koala milk, theres nothing better.

Like everything, its how you say it and deliver it. Its something I began to enjoy in the USA. With my accent and a bit of wit and humour, I could get away with murder. Many a guy travelling with me would say, how the hell can you say that and not make people get upset? I'd look over too them and say, I think its all about having an accent and just the way you say it too. God knows, if i said this stuff back home, people would try to knock my block off..


Travelling, it broadens the mind, or maybe you just drink to dam much and you think it does.. Have a good day.

DeeJay..